Old Guys Still ROCK

Blair Armstrong (00:51)
All right, all right, all right. Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening. Wherever you may be. This is your first time here. You have just found the best podcast that you have never seen before in your life. We are known as old guys still rock. We're going to be an episode number one, four, six today. My name is Blair Armstrong, a team Armstrong Coldwell bankers. You kind of see behind me. I'm a global luxury specialist in the world of residential real estate located in

Typical but always beautiful Coachella Valley right now. It is flippin hot We are in triple digits for the past four days and it is It's march baby, and we are not so we're supposed to kind of be in the mid 80s. We are in triple digits. We've got to 107 yesterday

Brent Wright (01:38)
Jeez.

Blair Armstrong (01:39)
Yeah, just ready for this. Anyway, the other side of my screen is a good friend of mine and the other host of this show, Wright of Brett Wright Incorporated. He is located in beautiful Eugene, Oregon, which we'll get into in a little bit. But he is, as I said, Brett Wright Incorporated, a man with many different hats from body shops to detail shops to payroll companies to multiple property owner, landlord. He's a financier to a wellness center that his wife.

opened up almost two years ago. We're kind of getting closer to that two year mark. He is also in a venture capitalist group that bought a company almost a year ago on that one called bustedtees.com. So if you're into novelty t-shirts, definitely check out bustedtees.com.

brought some really cool stuff. They will even be able to make stuff. if you're like, I have a really great idea for a t-shirt. Just go onto the bus and tease.com. There's tell you how it's going to get made. But it's a group of guys that come together. We're going to get some stats on that a little bit. But one thing that really sets Brett part again, he's been a friend of mine for almost 30 years. He is a very, very good coach, not only personal coach, but also a business coach.

just because of his life experiences he's had from personal relationships and business relationships. He's really kind of focused in on how to get that stuff done. So you're like, I've never heard of Brett Wright, heard of Tony Robbins, or I've heard of Ed Milet, I've heard of Ami Fersela. Who's this Brett Wright guy? Well, guess what? Go back and listen to 145 other episodes and see if he's a fit for you. And we always typically have a golden nugget. He has really good whips if it comes along the way. And I jokingly say this, if you don't like him, call me.

I can help you out a better. Anyways dude, how are you my man? What's going on in your world? How is Eugene weather today? I heard it's been rainy.

Brent Wright (03:20)
you

Good, ⁓

No, it's been 70s for the last few days. We were supposed to get three inches of rain last week and then never showed up. yeah, the waterways are not over full and we're down like almost four inches so far this year of rain. So Eugene's been very tropical compared and dry.

Blair Armstrong (03:31)
All right.

Yeah.

Well, yeah, we're definitely confused right now here. I'm a little nervous that it's been this hot out here this early. That just means it's such a pleasant summer last year. anyway, know, country club problems, I always say. I pay high taxes to have sunshine all the time and we're getting it right now.

Brent Wright (04:05)
Yep.

Yeah. So a couple of notable items for me personally, I did my monthly weigh in 158 and change and 12.4 % body fat.

Blair Armstrong (04:16)
Yeah.

Okay.

Wow,

bro, come on.

Brent Wright (04:26)
Yeah, and my kidney numbers are going up every day. I'm probably honestly coming up on 54. I'm in about the best shape I've ever been in my whole life. And I feel, feel just freaking amazing. Yeah. So from a busted T standpoint, I don't have stats yet on our social channels, but they're definitely improving daily. It is the slow season for, for this right now. So between now and June is our slow time.

Blair Armstrong (04:37)
Yeah, that's awesome,

Yeah.

Brent Wright (04:55)
We are seeing it in our numbers. We've made some adjustments and we've backed off of Google marketing and we're really pushing our Amazon store. So we are on Amazon. So go look us up there. That would be hugely, hugely appreciated to check us out. Not only on the website, but our Amazon store is off the charts records and doing real well. But again,

Blair Armstrong (05:04)
Okay.

Brent Wright (05:19)
Google's algorithm changes about every month and a half to six, you know, two, two, three months. And so you have to throw a lot of dollars at it. I mean, we're consistently throwing anywhere between 20 and $80,000 a month at Google advertising. And so being the slow time, we backed off on that a bit and we're making some adjustments. So.

Blair Armstrong (05:22)
It does, bro.

I'm gonna kind of stop right there because we just talked about what I did, what you guys do too. And one thing for you again, especially your first time listeners, we finance the show by ourselves. We take the time to edit it, get it out there, YouTube, all those different things. So the best way that you can support us, because we do not have advertisers at this time. We don't have sponsors this time. Do we talk about it? Yeah. But we like to say what we want to say and not have to be held accountable to anybody.

With that being said is if you're watching this and you haven't done so yet, just press pause right now and then go back to whatever you're watching. If it's on Spotify, Apple, I, you know, or iTunes or YouTube or whatever channel, maybe I heart radio, just press pause right now and go and hit the subscribe button and the notification bell. So when these new episodes come out, because we're every week.

We haven't missed a week in 140. As I said, we're 146 episodes. We have never missed a week. Sometimes we're earlier, sometimes we're later, but we never missed a week. So that goes to a lot to show you that typical podcasts last about five or six episodes. And then they fade off into the distance because they don't realize how much hard work it is. So we encourage you to hit that subscribe button and that notification bell to whatever channel you watch on do. And then now just strap in.

have some good time, but on a side note brother, cause you and I, you brought this up to me the other day. We're actually probably about two months ago, but these amazing nicotine pouches, which are, you know, a Tucker Carlson production called ALP and you can't get these everywhere. So check out your smoke shops to get them, but I have come to it. Okay, there you go. So you have them. So.

Brent Wright (07:06)
Mm-hmm.

Well, we actually stock them now at the Wellness Center and we're selling them.

Blair Armstrong (07:23)
I have tried multiple flavors from tropical fruit to refreshing chill to mountain green winter. I actually had spearmint. I had chill mint and I have come to the conclusion that I do like my tropical or my tropical fruits. Kind of nice if I'm having a beer or a glass of wine or something like that. It's just a nice little background flavor, but refreshing chill.

This is my guy. And then I start my workouts in the morning with not in winter green. So if you guys are checking out Nicky, again, this is not a sponsorship, just sharing some stuff with you. Do some research on nicotine. I think you're going to find some pretty good health benefits that are starting to come out with this, but kind of really keeps you focused when you're kind of fading throughout the day.

Brent Wright (08:05)
Well,

and the ALP brand is a clean nicotine salt with a coconut pouch. So it's all natural fibers. It won't rot your gums. It won't rot your teeth. It won't burn the back of your throat. It won't do all the things that's bad for you.

Blair Armstrong (08:09)
Yeah.

I gave one guy was at a restaurant the other day, one of the guys that is at my club. And he's like, I pulled out one because I just got done and eating. I'm like, stick a spearmint one in. He goes like, hey, what what milligrams are those? I go, I go six. goes, oh, no, no, no, no, I can't do sex. And so he's sitting there for a little bit. He's he's walking out and like, OK, let me let me try it. He was really happy because it was that he was it was a different experience because of the pouch.

Brent Wright (08:34)
Hahaha

Blair Armstrong (08:49)
He goes, wasn't grainy. It was actually pleasant. kind of, it was a nice, smooth kind of, I don't know what you want to call it, nicotine, maybe a nicotine high. I don't know if that's the right word for that. But anyway, he was really, goes, where can I get these? And I said, okay, you got to go down to the smoke shop on 111. And so anyway, so Alp and Tucker Collison, thank you for that.

Brent Wright (08:49)
Thank

Mm-hmm.

Blair Armstrong (09:13)
We're not getting paid by that. I just wanted to share that information. If you guys are in a nicotine pouch, just definitely check out Elp. know you guys have heard, what's the other one, Brent? What's Zen, Zen's been a big one for a little bit, but just a different experience. So let's get out of that, brother. I have something, I'm pull something up for you. And I want you to tell me what your thoughts are.

Brent Wright (09:24)
Zen.

Blair Armstrong (09:35)
Can you see that?

Brent Wright (09:36)
Yeah.

Blair Armstrong (09:36)
So you posted this picture the other day and obviously the caption reads itself really actually ⁓ it's right there. So you've got me in my fields the last couple of weeks and I'm gonna see if I can get you in your fields this week. When you see this, now how's Emma now?

Brent Wright (09:50)
You

She's a month away from 12. She's 11 currently. She's a month away from 12.

Blair Armstrong (09:59)
Okay.

So this is kind of gonna be the backbone of our subject today. But when you see this, how does that make you feel? What are you thinking?

Brent Wright (10:09)
So it's good and bad. ⁓ It makes me sad. It makes me happy. The sadness is that she used to sit with me in my chair, tucked in right here under my arm and she could fit right here. And you know, she's my first born. ⁓ She's my little buddy. She...

Blair Armstrong (10:12)
Yeah.

Brent Wright (10:35)
She's a tremendous human being. Just absolutely. She...

It makes me proud to see her growing up and doing the things she two nights ago, she said, can I come and sit with you on the couch and cuddle and talk to you? And of course I just let her talk. She just talked right in where she normally goes, but she's bigger. she's like four foot something now instead of, you know, a foot and a half. Right. So

Blair Armstrong (10:41)
Yeah.

Right.

Brent Wright (11:08)
⁓ she tucked in and, and we started talking and she told me about her day where she was talking with a couple of her teachers and they were talking about a book and they couldn't remember the name of the book or the author, but they were talking about this book. And she immediately spouts up that is the alchemist by Paulo Coelho. And they said, you've read the book. And she said,

Yes, I've read the book and this is what it's about. And she tells them what it's about and...

She's telling me this story and she's very proud of the fact that she, I mean, she read this book when she was five.

Right. Have you read the book?

Blair Armstrong (11:48)
Most people haven't read it when they're 50. I've

read about two chapters of it and I have not got back to it.

Brent Wright (11:57)
Yeah,

it's an amazing book. The summary of the book is a story about the adventures of this boy who leaves home as a sheep herder and goes to seek his, he goes on these adventures and he goes to seek his fame and fortune. And what he finds out at the end of the book, spoiler alert, is that

The fame and fortune he was seeking was in the first place that he started.

And she regurgitated this back to those teachers. But the look on her face, the excitement in her story, you could definitely tell that she was proud that she knew more than what the teachers knew. And it was a big proud dad moment for me. But the other day when she went to this banquet dance, it was a polish the shotgun kind of a moment for me.

Blair Armstrong (12:55)
Yeah.

Brent Wright (12:56)
She's wearing little heels. She's got this beautiful dress. She's starting to look like a woman. She's starting to act like a woman. It's proud and sad at the same time. You know, I just, I want to take her back to that little girl that looked at me with awe. Her look is the same or similar, but different. She still looks at me in awe. She tells...

Dill tells me every night how proud she is of me and I do the same with her. During our prayer time, it's an opportunity for me to chat with her about her days quietly with just her, not her and Lincoln, not her and my wife. And it is just like our podcast title is the fragility of watching your kids grow up. It is a fragile.

fractured moment of time. I heard this the other day.

that you have 18 summers with your kids. Now we've talked about this before. We average 76 summers in our life. So only one third of our life we spend preparing our kids to go out for the rest of theirs. And that's that's a fragile time. It. There there's very little. You know, if you look at your eight to 12 hour day.

Blair Armstrong (14:02)
It is a fresh time. Yeah.

Brent Wright (14:10)
I'm a 12 to 14, 16 hour a day person. Most people are only eight. Out of your eight hour day, spend, or I should say out of 24 hour day, you spend one third of it at work or away from your kids. You spend one third of it at home with your kids and your wife. But really, how much time do you actually spend with them? You know, we're doing reading time, we're doing Bible studies, we're doing...

all the things that you have to do. They're feeding the dogs, Lincoln's taking care of the chickens. Him and I are selling eggs to a local farm stand. And so we're cleaning eggs a couple of times a week and I get opportunities to spend with him. But.

I don't know, it's just you don't get a lot of freaking time. And it is, you literally blink and the day's over. You literally blink and they've grown two inches. Lincoln lost one of his last baby teeth yesterday.

And that was a happy and sad moment for me. Again.

Blair Armstrong (15:14)
It's just,

it goes so fast, right? I mean, we had Christian on a couple of weeks ago, I think episode number 143 was what we had on there, you know, about the pinata effect, right? And, you know, all of sudden, somebody asked me how old he was, and I had to think for a second. And I'm like, wow, 35. I'm like, how did we get here so fast, right? And you guys, if you haven't seen that episode, go back and watch that episode, because I don't want to go too deep in this. I really want to concentrate on what our topic is today. But

Brent Wright (15:21)
Yeah.

Blair Armstrong (15:41)
what Brett is saying, it just goes by so fast. And especially in our world right now, there's it's, you know, we talk about this all the time of warm warp speed and we're trying to satisfy everybody, but are we satisfying ourselves? We talked about that a couple of weeks ago. And then what you just talked about, I'm working eight, 12, 14 hours a day, but I'm still finding time to have time with Emma and I'm still having Lincoln and my wife and I'm basically scheduling that time. So I don't.

Brent Wright (15:55)
Mm-hmm.

Blair Armstrong (16:06)
get sideways on that, right? So you're a black kind of person, meaning like, I gotta stay in this realm. If you ask me to be out of that, I'm gonna say no, which is great. But you know, we talked about Lincoln a lot, we've talked about your wife a lot, we really haven't talked about Emma a lot. And the reason why when I saw this picture, and then I watched this Netflix thing I told you to watch, and I don't know if you watched it yet or not, I wanted to ask you, and obviously there's a different type of,

Brent Wright (16:16)
Mm-hmm.

Blair Armstrong (16:34)
relationship that you have with Emma than you have with Lincoln than with your wife. I've never had the experience of having a daughter, right? So you get to have this experience. So this is gonna be a very learning thing for me. There's a different type of bond between a father and a daughter than there is a father and a son. And I really don't know how to say that, but my, what type of foundation

Brent Wright (16:37)
Thank you.

Blair Armstrong (16:56)
did you start creating to not only give her value in herself, as of at that time, but value of how to value herself for the future.

Brent Wright (17:08)
So we do things like the kids go to jujitsu usually in the winter time. And super proud dad moment. She has the same autoimmune situation that my wife does. So she has lipidema, we're pretty sure. She struggles with energy. She struggles with stamina. She's not a good runner. Neither April or I were very good runners when we were in school.

and young and so she struggles with that. We're finding that Lincoln probably still has the same thing that I have, rheumatoid arthritis. Possibly Emma might have it as well. So she struggles with physical things, Lincoln not so much, but she definitely does struggle with physical things. And so going to Jiu Jitsu was almost like a chore for her, but.

We're seeing the reward of that. So the other day, her and Lincoln were arguing and he's like, I'm gonna throw you down and tickle you. And she's like, I'm gonna sweep your leg and put you in an arm bar.

Blair Armstrong (18:04)
Ha

Brent Wright (18:04)
And so seeing her take the tools that we've tried to establish in her and give her and having her use those in life is super rewarding. The reading, you know, we started a book payment a number of years ago. So when she was four, she started reading and...

Both of my kids started reading early. They love reading and it's something that they do really well. They have different tastes, of course, and things like that. But ultimately, they're now and have been for years. mean, again, Emma started picking books off my bookshelf when she was five. She read Atomic Habits when she was six.

and then started applying them and then coaching me on how to apply them.

Blair Armstrong (18:50)
My question to you earlier was a loaded question and I'm glad that you answered it that way because I want to go back to this Netflix thing. I this guy, it's called Manosphere. It's about these guys who believe that they're alpha males and they're internet sensations. You know, they're influencers and stuff like that. And if you haven't seen it, I definitely watch it. ⁓ It's disgusting. It's absolutely, it is atrocious to

Brent Wright (19:11)
I'm about 30 minutes in on it.

Hmm,

yes and no.

Blair Armstrong (19:18)
I would say it's disgusting to the point of this is the way what really turned me off to it is there's two things. First of all, the way that they thought they were superior to women. I understand that there's a there's a thing to that. So I'm not going to listen to that cross that's just the way that it was done to me just really put turn me off. My biggest thing was watching the women being subjected to being OK with the way that they were treated.

Brent Wright (19:44)
Mm-hmm.

Blair Armstrong (19:44)
And so, and I go back to that, so why it goes back to this question that I asked you is just like, I feel like there was not a foundation set for those girls that would sell their soul just to have fame. And what I see you doing with Emma, and again, we're concentrated in Emma right now, because we've talked about Lincoln so much, what I've seen you do with Emma, that gives me faith and I'm-

Brent Wright (19:56)
Correct.

Blair Armstrong (20:08)
hoping that what you talk about today really sets the tone for some younger parents and maybe even some younger women that being Instagram famous only lasts so long. And subjecting yourself to the type of things that you see on the internet, the OnlyFans and certain things like that, it's not for real. The numbers are not for real, the lifestyle is not for real. But what I see Brett doing with Emma,

is really setting a foundation. She's learning how to read. Realistically, she's kind of learning business on the back end, right? She's really on that side. She's learning how to have relationships. She's watching you in April, the good and bad side of you in April, right? And learning how to, when things may be not fun in a relationship, just learning how to make them better or work to be better or concentrate and keep raising the standard. And I feel, I feel

Brent Wright (20:40)
Yeah.

Blair Armstrong (21:01)
after watching that show that we have missed a lot of that and now we're trying to catch back up to bring that back into it. There is a lot of value in women. It doesn't have to be on through the Housewives of Beverly Hills or Instagram Famous or being an OnlyFans person to...

Brent Wright (21:14)
Mm-hmm.

Blair Armstrong (21:18)
that's not your purpose. Mike, again, so I talked about that was a little bit of a soapbox, but my thing is when we start getting to teenager years, which are coming up like this, how are you, do you have a plan in your head? I only ask this because I think that you do. Do you have a plan?

Brent Wright (21:28)
Mm-hmm.

Well, plan started a long

time ago.

Blair Armstrong (21:36)
But that plan's going to have to change because she's going to be, there's going to be other girls, there's going to be different influences that you cannot completely protect. How do you keep that in that box to make sure to circumvent through those rough trying to find myself years?

Brent Wright (21:50)
So she's already found herself where most women as they grow are struggling with trying to find themselves and are trying to fit in. My daughter doesn't struggle to fit in. She leads the charge for people to fit in with her.

Blair Armstrong (21:53)
Okay.

Mm-hmm.

So what do you do? How did you, again, I want you to really kind of give us a blueprint of how you started structuring that. And even though the people will, gosh, no, I might be too late. I don't think that you're ever too late. I think there's adjustments that could be made. But what are some of the things that you're really instilling and helping her keep accountable to herself, but also accountable to you?

Brent Wright (22:32)
So mainly it's biblical, right? And so she has the background for the biblical side. And we teach our kids when they have a question, come to us, but likely be prepared to be asked, have you looked in the Bible for the answer yet? And what did you find? And do you need help finding something? So.

We live a very conservative lifestyle, not from just a political standpoint, but a very conservative lifestyle. For instance, the school that the kids go to, she can't wear a dress that's above her knees. She has to be covered, her chest has to be covered. And so you've seen the Instagram reel where the dad has the daughter bend over and touch her toes, stand up and raise her arms. If you can see...

Blair Armstrong (23:00)
Mm-hmm.

Brent Wright (23:19)
anything go back and change, right? And so that's a similar place where we land and we're not telling our kids like be...

prideful of your body, but we're also not telling them to be afraid of your body. Your body's a beautiful thing. It's just that it's only supposed to be shown at certain times to certain people. And she, like, she believes and has regurgitated to us, like, you know, they'll go swimsuits shopping and she's wanting to find a one piece. All of her friends are wearing two piece.

She said, I don't want to show off that much of my body. That's a special thing that only special people get to see. She's already got the backdrop for that. She also is very conservative in the way that she thinks about how she speaks to people. We have coached our kids to have standards over feelings.

and meaning you don't go to your feeling first, you go to the standard, and then you present your feelings based upon your standards. So you don't lash out, you don't talk back, and it's not...

I think I've spanked her twice in her whole life and she remembers each time very vividly and it wasn't a good thing. She will tell you that.

Blair Armstrong (24:48)
Right.

Brent Wright (24:49)
It's not that she doesn't want to disappoint me. She doesn't want to disappoint herself. She's not looking at me for validation. She's not looking at her mom for validation. She's not looking at society for validation. She's looking internally and saying, does this serve me? Let's go back to my decision-making process. We push this with our kids. Does this serve me? Is this reasonable? Does this get me to my outcome? Is this consistent with my values and standards?

Blair Armstrong (25:10)
Right.

Brent Wright (25:17)
We have pushed that decision making process to our kids from the time that they could hear it and understand it, visualize it and live it. And so every one of their decisions needs to be coming from that place of a decision making process.

Blair Armstrong (25:32)
So somebody's gonna be listening to this like, dude, that's so methodical. I don't have the time for it, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And no.

your daughter goes to a private school, my school is just, my girls or my kids are surrounded by this, this, and this. And so it's just a least passive resistance just to give them what they want. What would you say to somebody like that? And in a coaching way, not to demean them, but in a coaching way.

Brent Wright (26:03)
Well, you again, my coaching starts out. have to be everything to everyone. And if you're not at least trying to do that, then you're taking the path of least resistance and you're a weak leader. And you need to work on yourself first and then work on your family. It all starts with you. It all starts with the top and funnels down. My kids see me working out often.

I'm participatory in them working out. My daughter doesn't feel like she has to work out. She feels like she wants to work out. She doesn't feel that she has to eat correctly. She knows that she has to eat correctly or else her body won't serve her properly. We've had times like that where she ate a bunch of garbage with friends at a afterschool party for whatever thing that was going on.

and didn't eat any protein and she ended up with a headache. And then so we say, does this feel good? Well, it felt good at the time, but it doesn't feel good now. Okay, so what are you going to do differently next time? And how are you gonna prepare yourself? So it's not, again, we talk about everything in balance in our family. So it's not that you went and ate a bunch of ice cream at Dairy Queen. It's that you didn't prepare.

and eat a bunch of protein before you went to go eat the ice cream. You can still have the ice cream, but you just need to prepare. If you don't like the result, change what you do to get the result.

Blair Armstrong (27:36)
So going back to our subject, how fast kids grow up, because this is still part of that stuff too. Going back to, they grow up so fast. And there may be some people that are out listening to us, or maybe people planning to have kids, or maybe people that already have kids. Maybe they're older and stuff, whatever that may be. Right, right. And then ⁓ you may.

Brent Wright (27:54)
like Sean from your office, right? So.

What's his daughter,

two now?

Blair Armstrong (28:01)
talking about David. David, no, no, she's older. They're like getting into their teenage years right now. he David had kids when he was 16. So he's 30 now. So they're starting getting up to that, you know, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 age. So they're good with that. And my they they grow up fast. Like, I've missed my window to go do what Brent's talking about. You can.

Brent Wright (28:02)
Or David, sorry, David. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

jeez,

So he's in the thick of it.

It's never too

late.

Blair Armstrong (28:27)
It's

never too late. And I, that's exactly what I wanted to hear from you. It's never too late to do some things and to like that. And then some other people might think, gosh, darn it. This is really methodical. You know, I just, the kids don't sound like they're going to have any fun if they live that type of lifestyle. Now talking about, ⁓ dude. And that's the point.

Brent Wright (28:44)
Well, is being an adult fun? Right, have to

prepare warriors to go out into the world because the world is a very, very cruel mistress.

Blair Armstrong (28:57)
Yeah, and I think the point of it is, is that it's not all just like this regimented lifestyle that Emma Lincoln live. And I know that we're concentrating on Emma right now. They get to do fun stuff. They get to go hang out with kids. They get to do that stuff. They just have a foundation. This is the standard that we are hoping that you're going to live by. This is a standard we're going to teach you. This is a standard that works. Now,

Brent Wright (29:05)
No, no, they're, they're, they're kids. They're kids, dude.

My kids

choose not to be around certain kids at school because they don't fit their standards, not just ours as a family.

Blair Armstrong (29:30)
but you've set those standards, you've showed them how those standards work. It's just not telling them, this is the standard, this is how you're gonna do it. You've actually showed them how the standard is and this is the way, it's the best way possible. It's not constantly telling you, need to do this, this, this, and this. Obviously you went talk to, you talked about it earlier. It's, you know, go check out the Bible. What's the standard in the Bible? But you're also, it's your actions more than words sometimes will have a bigger effect, right?

Brent Wright (29:54)
Well, because I

Blair Armstrong (29:55)
And so your actions throughout the day,

Brent Wright (29:56)
share, yeah.

Blair Armstrong (29:57)
your April's actions throughout the day is literally subliminally setting that standard before Emma and Lincoln. But go ahead.

Brent Wright (30:05)
Well,

we share our wins and our losses with our kids. We are very upfront. If April and I end up in a heated discussion or an argument, we share that with our kids and we tell them where we went wrong in that discussion.

And it's important to share the wins and the losses with your kids. Your kids need to learn that they're gonna lose in life more than they win.

And losing is part of our day to day because we're trying exponentially harder every day. So the harder we try, the more losses we will have and the more uncomfortable situations we will be in. And then it gives us an opportunity to learn and grow and then hopefully win eventually. But winning like early on, my son was a poor loser. And so I had to teach him that every day he's going to get his tail kicked.

You're gonna lose more every day, bud. Losing sucks, I know.

but you're gonna lose more than you win, so get used to it.

Blair Armstrong (31:08)
Yeah, I think as you

see about that in this world of, you know, parents least resistance, give their kid an iPad or a phone and they could go play these games and they're playing games and they lose and they throw the phone or they throw the iPad or they throw the joystick and stuff like that. And it's.

It's just such a not, again, least path of resistance. Okay, they're occupied. I don't have to deal with it right now. And they'll figure it out later to where that you have taken a proactive approach.

and really set it from the beginning. Now again, I really hope that people hear this saying, you know, this is impossible. My kids 13, 14 years old. It's not too late to set that standard or regroup and set the standard that you were hoping for the beginning. It's it is your job to be a leader. I've messed out tremendously with my son tremendously. I have missed some moments and that eats at me. But there's there's.

We had him on last week. I'm getting a lot of great feedback from that of just what he's turned out to be. Now he's had multiple people there. But there's now conversations with him that we're now having that and we're setting that standard. So he's 35 years old now and that standard is getting set. Looking at things a different way. don't want... Yeah.

Brent Wright (32:22)
Well, to be truthful,

his standards are higher than yours. And he holds you accountable. And that's what we're supposed to do is give our kids the tools to hopefully the one day they come back and they hold us to a higher standard than we're producing.

Blair Armstrong (32:26)
Yeah, 100%. 100%. Yeah.

What's the same thing? We go back to, I don't want to switch gears too much, but when you raise that standard, when you're hiring employees, even when I'm hiring David, we're talking to somebody else about joining our team. I said, I want to make you better than me. That's the whole point of this. If this is not about me making money because you're doing this and that and stuff like that, I need you to be better than me.

Brent Wright (32:54)
Yeah, 100%.

Well, to go back to your prior question in the notes that I sent you, and I'm just gonna read them because it's simple here, and this goes back to it. So you would get asked the question, like, well, what do I do now, is what you asked. And this is in my notes. You're tired, you're working, you're building businesses, you're trying to provide.

Blair Armstrong (33:07)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Brent Wright (33:31)
You tell yourself, I'll be more present next year. I'll slow down when things settle down.

But kids are watching every action that you produce and they are mimicking and will continue to mimic. So if you are not liking what you're seeing out of your kids, then likely it is the mirror effect that we talk about. You are looking in a mirror. So if your kids are lashing out, are doing things wrong,

are not treating people kindly if they are just being little a-holes. It is likely because they are seeing you do that. They are seeing you take the path of least resistance instead of taking the path less traveled. You are not becoming an agent of change, so therefore your kids won't become an agent of change. My kids see me fighting the good fight every single day.

Blair Armstrong (34:29)
Right.

Brent Wright (34:29)
that they're also seeing me fail and learn and learn how to take the high road. I sent you an email this morning.

Blair Armstrong (34:38)
Iron Shepherd, father, son, Bible study. Right.

Brent Wright (34:40)
Yep, Father-Son Bible study. that

came out of a situation where I had an opportunity to take the high road or to take the low road. Take the human road or take the standards road. And my wife and I decided to take the standards road. And we're holding our church accountable to our standards.

Be an agent of change, be a leader, and everybody will fall in line or fall away.

And that's what I want my kids to see is that I had a tough situation come up. I had a challenge come up and I rose to the challenge. And now I'm getting feedback on that and I'm making adjustments. And that's why I sent it to you is because I want feedback so I can make adjustments. I don't do it perfect every day, buddy. I fail miserably every single day and my kids see me failing and then seeing me regroup.

Blair Armstrong (35:30)
No, I...

I think that's what people when we talk about, obviously we always have a common thread of God in our podcasts and things like this. We're this pointy-toity Christian people.

I say this often, take the religion out of it. It's a relationship that we chose to have with someone that has been proven to fill the voids in our soul. And we F up all the time. We are not perfect. But what Brent just went and talked about, he's sharing his losses and his losses are more than his wins. And that's what leadership is about, is to help fill in those

potholes, which we've talked about in the past, so that someone behind you or who is wants to emulate you or inspires to be have your traits or your drive, those potholes are filled. So when we talk about God, this is not saying that we're better than you. Say most likely we're probably more broken than you. But we're not shared to say it because of our relationship.

with God. and I think that's, but you stepping out and doing what you did, right? Sending that email, you're going to get some brush back. here goes Brent again. He's trying to force his will on here. No, dude. It's not the case. Stop taking everything that's like this, I'm trying to push my standard on you. Let's have a discussion, right? And that's going back to what your stuff is.

Brent Wright (36:48)
So that.

Blair Armstrong (37:08)
you're not pushing your agenda on your kids. You're showing them examples and that you're not only by actions, but by words, but then you're sitting down and having discussions with them. It's realistically, you've talked about this a lot too. We've lost the art of discussion. So not only are you showing by actions and then by actions and words, but then you sit down and let them have conversations with you. So later on in life, when Ish goes sideways,

They know how to have a conversation in a normal tone that they're not trying to say, you're right, I'm right, you're wrong type of conversation. Let's have a conversation and find the common thread and find a commonality so we can all move forward. Am I correct in saying that?

Brent Wright (37:43)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah,

100%. And so we talked about this a couple of weeks ago. My kids see me taking action and trying to make the world a better place. So in essence, they want to do the same. My daughter started a kindness club at school and has over 30 members in it.

and they go out every single day and produce kindness at their school during recess and during breaks and before and after school. And they try to make sure that everybody feels a little bit of kindness every day. They try and make people smile. They give people little bracelets and little gifts. And they give people handwritten thank you cards. And they tell people that they're beautiful.

and they ask people how their day's going, and they try to make people's day better. My son started a chess club because he wanted to show people how to be a warrior in the garden instead of a gardener in the war, like Sun Tzu says. My son quotes that often. My daughter quotes that often. They have both read Sun Tzu at nine and 11.

Blair Armstrong (39:01)
⁓

I haven't done it.

So I just, yeah.

Brent Wright (39:07)
So the biggest thing that you brought up

was with that picture. is in my notes.

when I was jotting down my thoughts and feelings is there's no announcement. There's no warning bell.

My daughter went from being a little baby

to a preteen almost a woman overnight. She's grown an inch and a half in the last six months. She's acting like a woman. She's posturing and presenting like an articulate adult. She went from being a baby to a toddler to an adult.

And the one thing that's happened over the last few months is I have really pushed to engage with her on a different level because I didn't want her to stop asking me to play with her. I didn't want her to stop asking to draw with me. We scheduled that time. She knows that I want to do that and it's important and she asked for it.

But one day she's gonna stop asking me to draw with her. I hope not. But one day she will. And that will be a sad day for me. Her saying, you know, that she wanted to come sit with me the other night. One day she's gonna stop asking for that. And that's gonna be really sad for me. One day she's gonna wanna be with her friends more than she's gonna wanna be with me. To this day, we give our kids the option on their birthdays.

to spend a day with mom and dad or to spend a day with their friends and have a party. In one of these days, sadly, she's going to say she wants a party instead of spending the day with us.

And it's a quiet shift that happens. And you, as a parent, need to be really cognizant or cognitive of that shift and be paying attention to it. Because these are fleeting moments you'll never get back. They're only this age for one year, one summer. The things that she's doing this summer are going to be different than the things that she does next summer. And the same with Lincoln.

And it's a permanent change. I mean, she's already...

talking about acceptable ages for her to get married and acceptable ages for her to have kids. She already knows how many kids she wants to have and she's already outlining that as a life plan. Now I, I kosher often that life just happens sometimes to you. And although you make plans, don't be so attached to those plans that

you're debilitated when those plans change.

The next thing that's gonna happen is I'm gonna be walking her down the aisle and it's gonna be another happy and sad day. And then I'm gonna be sitting there when she has her first child and it's gonna be another happy and sad day.

Hang on to these moments, guys. It's cool to build businesses, and I got a bunch of them. It's cool to build successes, and I've had a bunch of them.

It's cool to have failures and learn and grow from a personal standpoint and a business standpoint. And I've had a bunch of those, but none of them are more rewarding than the fruits of my labor with my children.

There's a parable that talks about a rich man on his deathbed would give all of his money to have one more year.

And the same parable applies here. I would give all my money to have one more year with my children as children.

Blair Armstrong (42:31)
It's like that country song by Scottie McCready or Crary or whatever his name is, you know, five more minutes.

Brent Wright (42:35)
That's a tough one.

Blair Armstrong (42:37)
It's just...

Brent Wright (42:38)
I don't know the reference because I think country music sucks, so...

Blair Armstrong (42:42)
Hahaha!

Brent Wright (42:42)
Hahaha

Blair Armstrong (42:44)
you know

Basically, the course of it is time goes on, it just won't stop. Blah, blah, blah. I think some people know five more minutes, but what Brent said is, I think the big thing that I really want to hope that people pull out of this thing is maybe you're starting to have a family.

Brent Wright (42:53)
I

Blair Armstrong (43:06)
want to use some of Brent's stuff. This is another reason why using him as a coach may not be a bad idea just outside of business, but as a personal coach, especially if you're kind of struggling to get with your kids, he's got kids, young kids, and he's older in life. You're starting to see that a little bit as well. But don't think that's your window of opportunity to set the standard and put them on maybe a

different but better path is too late. This is your job. This is why God gave it to you. There's always opportunity to recapture what has been missed. just so, I think Brett said it best, like, I'll get it tomorrow. I'll get it tomorrow. I've got to get this stuff. Take it from me. It goes by fast. Having a 35-year-old, I blinked and I...

I have no idea how we got here, but it's a lot. Yeah, yeah, it's just been a lot, man. So it's just, so anyways, guys, you know.

Brent Wright (44:01)
When I met you, he was like four, dude.

Blair Armstrong (44:11)
There's a lot of things that are going on right now that can really, without parental supervision, without the standard, and I know we talked a lot about Fred's daughter Emma today, but we've talked about Lincoln in the past and had my son on lately. The influences that are in front of your kids right now is absolutely atrocious. It is unattainable.

It is smoke and mirrors. And don't just say, well, they'll learn the hard way. No, it's your job to keep them from learning the hard way and sucking them back in and maybe having to get rid of some of the things in your life to concentrate more on that because the influences that they're giving right now, it's not the standard that not only your family needs, but the rest of the world needs.

Standard is not what they see on Instagram. The standard is not this influencers and these only fangirls and stuff like that. That's not a standard. It's catastrophic. even though that there may be fights and tears and scratches and la la la, just suck it in and get back into it. You've had harder clients than then raising kids, trust me.

Brent Wright (45:00)
Yeah.

It's broken. It's broken.

Blair Armstrong (45:26)
I see that. But any final words for you, my dude?

Brent Wright (45:30)
Yep. Realize this guys, presents, not Christmas presents, but your presents is the real currency. Not money, not status, not success, but presents. It's not about being perfect or being the perfect dad. It's about being there. Cause your kids don't need a perfect dad. They need you, your attention, your time.

your eyes off your phone and on them. And that's how you can go make a damn difference today.

Blair Armstrong (46:06)
Roger freaking that. All right guys, thank you again so much for tuning in again another week. Again, if you haven't done so yet, hit that subscribe button, hit that notification bell. Most of all, as I said, two weeks, because we don't have sponsors, we don't have people pushing out for just to this better algorithm. Share this freaking show, man. It's good stuff. It's solid good material that we deal with everyday life and everyday businesses. So if you haven't done so yet, share this episode and let's.

Build this community so not only help yourself get better but help the world around you get better But until we see each other next week, stay safe. But most of all god bless guys