Old Guys Still ROCK

Blair Armstrong (01:03)
right, all right, all right. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, wherever you may be. This is your first time here. I am Blair Armstrong, our team Armstrong, Coldwell banker, global luxury specialist in the world of residential real estate. And this podcast is old guys still rock or better known as OGSR. We're not going to get into long introductions today. Again, as I said, I'm Blair Armstrong on my left and the other host of this show. Good friend from mine for almost 30 years.

Brent Wright of Brent Wright Incorporated, a man with many different and successful hats, from body shops to detail shops. Him and his wife have started a wellness center called Wright Wellness Center. If you haven't checked out their page, check it out. They just got a really cool little tool to help your life be more healthy, more better. I don't know if that's proper English, but I don't care. MoBeta, payroll companies.

Brent Wright (01:57)
Little better.

Blair Armstrong (02:00)
But a big claim to Brent, he is a really great coach. So if you're struggling, if you have a pothole in your career, your life, or your relationship, or if it's in your business, whatever it may be, we have 125 other episodes on here. This is episode number 126. I'd encourage you, this is your first time here, or you're a return of the stuff, and you really want to check out Brent more,

Go back and watch those episodes, find a topic that you like and see if he's a fit for you. Again, he's been a friend for mine 30 years. I can attest to his coaching. It's no holds barred, which I think a lot of us need to kind of get over that hurdle. anyway, we're going to kind of get into this a little bit right away. Usually I have a long introduction. I'm a really big PR man, but Brent Wright, what the hell is going on? How is Eugene? Has it started raining yet?

Brent Wright (02:48)
Yeah.

Blair Armstrong (02:54)
It's August 31st, or October.

Brent Wright (02:54)
yeah. Yeah. It's a, it's bi,

it's bipolar rain and sun. yesterday it was like 67 degrees, 68 degrees and sunny and beautiful. And, then, you know, the next minute it's slamming rain. And today we got fog and feel like I'm at the coast. So it's kind of, kind of crazy. It's, it's what keeps us green and mean out here. So, as I was telling you pre show, when we weren't recording,

Blair Armstrong (03:14)
Beautiful thing,

Brent Wright (03:22)
We are

Blair Armstrong (03:23)
Technical difficulties.

Brent Wright (03:24)
feeling pretty blessed, feeling very thankful and grateful. I'm not saying it's easy, but I believe that we've really worked hard. I say we, meaning my wife and our family worked really, really hard to build a life that we don't have to escape from, which is hilarious because we were talking last night. We have Coast House, we have a...

big fifth wheel, have all the things to allow us to escape and yet we never really seemed to make the escape. And, and we don't really want for much. And, and again, you know, we talk about it us all the time, you know, we didn't wake up to AK 47 fire. So feeling pretty, pretty awesome about that. one thing that you missed this week, but that's okay. I won't hold it against you. Bustedtease.com. So.

Blair Armstrong (04:10)
⁓ I was going to

say it.

Brent Wright (04:14)
Super cool, one of our marketers just sent us some data yesterday. And in the last seven days alone, busted tees on Instagram and Facebook has gotten 8 million plus views.

Blair Armstrong (04:28)
That is incredible. I mean that is just flat out incredible.

Brent Wright (04:32)

and a half million in the last 30 days. And our second page, the Death Star Digest, got 2.2 million views and doubled its followers in the last seven days.

EECOM at its best.

Blair Armstrong (04:48)
So what do you think the niche is? mean, obviously that's just like crazy. First of all, I mean, if you go walk down the street, if you found two people that know what bussatees.com is, I don't know if you would be able to mention that, but you've got this following. What do you think the claim to fame is that, how it got?

Brent Wright (05:07)
They're niche marketing pages that are connecting to people in their past. So it makes them feel like they've stepped back in time to a time in their life when things were fun, things were easy, things were funny. You could make fun of things without all of the recourse that you get today from

Blair Armstrong (05:22)
Mmm.

Right. Yeah. ⁓

Brent Wright (05:31)
all

of the keyboard warriors that we've talked about. just, it's hilarious. Cause one of the posts a couple of weeks ago was the Star Wars guys making fun of the Star Trek guys, like the characters. And then the next post, the next day was the Star Trek characters were making fun of the Star Wars characters. It's just, it's a hilarious, entertaining yet engaging.

niche pages that really are helping to promote us and get us, get our name out there that we're really just trying to make life fun guys. It's life's hard enough. Like why not have a t-shirt that pokes fun at something.

Blair Armstrong (06:10)
said something there, Jared. It brings us kind of as more seasoned guys at 56 and we of think about that,

You see a lot lately that's coming, obviously it's in my algorithm right now, but when these kids come back and they're basically dressed up in the eighties and they're on their Mongoose bikes or their banana seat bikes, like, okay, remember in the eighties and do that. And how fast you go back to that time, right? Where you didn't have to have mom and dad staying with you when you were eight years old, you babysat yourself and it was dark.

Brent Wright (06:28)
Mm-hmm.

You could ride till dark and show up,

right?

Blair Armstrong (06:42)
Go

down to the local circle K or seven 11. You pick out your candy. You came back like four hours later. Yeah. Oh yeah, I did. So the part in the point that I'm getting at, which is going to tie into our, our second half of this episode that we talked about last week is they're addicted to losing. We're so fond of those past memories where we all get together, right? There was no social media, no cell phones and devil in the sense. And I'm not saying that's the problem, but

Brent Wright (06:47)
Dairy Queen, Mr. Misty's.

Blair Armstrong (07:09)
Lately, we're so, as that's how you use it. Look at that golden chalice, dude. I love that.

Brent Wright (07:10)
It's how you use it is the problem.

water bottle good for your heart, your soul, and your physical.

Blair Armstrong (07:21)
You guys are watching on YouTube. You just missed out. So you better actually can get it on Spotify too. So anyway, the point of it is, is we talked about addicted. Are you addicted to losing last week? Would you really got into a bunch of stuff and you know, if you're having hurdles or if you're kind of, if you just, if you're losing, you kind of stay in that rut or I can't do it anymore. Or my mom and dad told me that, I tried that once. And so you just, you stay in that losing concept.

Brent Wright (07:24)
you

Blair Armstrong (07:46)
Going back to what you just said, it takes us back to this place where it was fun and was easy. So that basically puts us where we are today. And everybody knows the temperature of society right now. It's hot. don't know if you can't, you just said it. Do I say the right thing or not the right thing? It's just politically correct. my gosh, I can't make a black joke or a white joke anymore. can't make a joke about, just everything is just so like, I have to live in the silo.

So that puts us into a losing mentality because we're losing out on relationships or we're losing out on life because we're so worried about what everybody exactly.

Brent Wright (08:19)
We're afraid to engage. Afraid

to engage.

Blair Armstrong (08:25)
So I pray that your comment and your t-shirt is, and now it becomes a trigger. So again, if you haven't gone there yet, go back, it's a novelty t-shirt shot. Freaking awesome, man. There's some really cool stuff. Well, if you're having a hard time starting a conversation, wear one of his freaking t-shirts. It'll start a conversation like, dude, that's funny because it's, yeah, go grab one, dude. Yeah, go grab one.

Brent Wright (08:30)
Hahaha

Do you have a second? Let me go grab one. That's freaking hilarious. All right, I'll go grab one.

All right, here you go. This is in tribute to Bob Barker.

Blair Armstrong (08:54)
Yes, I need that t-shirt Do you know what I need that t-shirt? I've got it We're have to figure this out if you can overnight that to me and how much it's gonna cost the reason why I say that

Brent Wright (08:56)
Hahahaha

Well,

one is a women's shirt in large. And so they typically take seven to 10 days, because they are all customized by size, shape, color, all the things. We do have priority, but it does take about three to five days.

Blair Armstrong (09:10)
Okay.

Okay, it's no way. The reason why I say that is we are having one of our good friends, their daughter's getting, excuse me, getting married tomorrow. And the rehearsal dinner is a costume party. First and foremost, I hate costume parties. I hate, sure. I do dress up good dude, but the point of it is that,

Brent Wright (09:34)
Mmm.

I've been to a couple of costume parties with you back in the day and you dress up good. You do dress up good.

Blair Armstrong (09:47)
That was under different circumstances. So maybe that's why I hate it so much. Maybe it's a trigger that has passed. But anyway, with that being said is my wife, God bless her soul, man. She knows it just it's nails on a chalkboard. The reason why I say that is typically every single year we have this welcome back party at our club. I noticed the country club problems and there's some theme and you have to dress up. And so we have I literally look at my closet. I have like this much room for like my clothes I'm supposed to wear.

Brent Wright (09:49)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Blair Armstrong (10:15)
And then that costume is for, you know, for all these things. Again, stupid complaint. I know it's just taking us comedy right now. The point of it is, is she's like, okay, a couple of weeks ago, I know you're gonna hate this, but the rehearsal dinner is a costume party. like, you gotta be effing kidding me. And I'm like, no, no, I have a migraine. I can't go, you can go. But I can't, they're good friends.

Brent Wright (10:17)
Hmm.

I'll have a migraine in two weeks.

Blair Armstrong (10:42)
That's exactly where I go down this. So I'm like, oh my God, I'm just like nails in a chalkboard and my belly starts getting anxiety belly. And I'm like, oh, my introverted started to come out. just 1000%. So she's like, I'm going to make this really easy for you. I'm like, okay, what is it? And I'm like, uh, and she goes, remember last year I got you a happy Gilmore hockey Jersey.

Brent Wright (10:44)
Hahaha

Mmm.

Blair Armstrong (11:08)
Well, it's basically about the Jersey that his Boston, his Boston Bruins Jersey that he wears in the movie. She goes, you're going to dress up as you're going to dress up as happy Gilmore and I'm going to dress up as your caddy. And I'm like, my God, thank Jesus. So I get to wear a hockey Jersey jeans. that's what I'm saying, dude. It would have been awesome if she would have come in with that t-shirt or something like this. Yeah.

Brent Wright (11:19)
Nice. ⁓

Let's see, Bob Barker was on Happy Gilmore, ⁓

It'll fit your wife. It's a women's large.

Blair Armstrong (11:35)
I don't know. She bought a caddy outfit already, which actually she could have basically opened it up and have it on there. But I'm going to buy one and I'm going to wear this on the course before we go out once in a while. Actually, the funny thing is when we have our big tournaments out here, I will wear my Gilmore jersey on the driving range. And people go like, why are you wearing a hockey jersey? And I go read the back. I'm like, oh, I get it. So anyway.

Brent Wright (11:38)
Okay, okay.

Hehehehehe

Hmm.

Blair Armstrong (12:02)
I don't know why it went off to that thing, but see, that's is, that is just awesome. And what the point of it is, is living this. Addicted to losing world for like three minutes there. We were just having fun. And, and there's a lot of shit that we have got going on. have going on. Brent's got going on. Everyone has going on to the point of it is, is how are you taking that? Are you going to be addicted to that one spot? I could go back to yesterday. I could go back to like three or four or five days. I was just.

I'll tell you on Monday, I'm like, dude, I don't know if I can do this podcast this week. I always just in this dark spot and Mike, I've got to get out of it. I've got to get out of this. I got to get out of this. It's affecting my relationship mostly with my wife. But, you know, and I'm, I'm trying so hard to talk to people and being in those things, journaling, like four or five pages, trying to just get those thoughts out. We talked about that last week where you're walking and talking and you're trying to get these thoughts out. And then.

thank God for chat GPT, right? ⁓ To get them out into a clearer spot so you can read them and make sense. But that's why we really wanna get back to this. We feel like this is such a big topic right now. just anytime that you pick up your phone, you go watch the news, the other side is always wrong. And they're pitting us over and over. And I know that you guys know this.

Brent Wright (13:03)
Mm-hmm.

Blair Armstrong (13:25)
But the point of it is, is what are you doing to get out of it? One side is pitting us to hate the other side. The other side is pitting us to hate that side. And it's it's just, it's thing to stay in this constant battle. And everyone's keeping like, well, if my administration was running it, it would be better. No, my administration is running in it. It is better because it did this. Where are you getting with that? So we get stuck. You're all losing, hoping, which we've said this a thousand times.

Brent Wright (13:37)
Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Mm-hmm.

Blair Armstrong (13:53)
through

125 of the podcasts and I'm gonna kind of end it and give it back to you because I know you have some great notes and to give us but.

Everyone thinks that their white horse, even though it's a different white horse, is going to come in and save their side and tell everybody that their side, if you weren't on their side, then you're wrong. And the other side is like, no, my white horse is going to come in and they're going to tell it your side is wrong. So what happens when that happens? So what did you win? 10 years of stuff, right?

Brent Wright (14:22)
Yeah, kind of, kind of,

kind of goes into, this last part. So I'm going to go back a little bit and rewind what we were doing last week. and then I'm going to give you some tools and opportunities for success. We always try to drop some tools or, or some, some good, good opportunities in to try and help you as well.

Back to what you were saying though.

I've got this subject for these four points is the self deception mechanism lying is a survival tactic.

Most people don't realize that they're addicted to losing. And it's never even something that they've cognitively thought about. just, you know, status quo, right? Just keep running the same plays expecting the game to change or the results of the game to change. You know, I'll go into your sports analogy that you promoted here a couple of weeks ago, like Dan Lanning. Do you think he runs the same exact plays every game?

Do think they practice the same plays at the ducks? Every single practice? Of course they practice basics, right? We know that. And everybody's got to have the basics down. But if you're just staying the same, then you're just lying to yourself, hoping to just survive the day. And survival really isn't where we're at on this podcast. It's...

First order of business is to survive. Second order of business is to set yourself up for success to thrive. But most people get stuck in that survival and how they get stuck in there is they confuse motion with progress. You ever know that guy that just keeps putting stuff on his list to cross it off? Been that guy before? I have.

Blair Armstrong (16:10)
1000%.

Yeah.

Brent Wright (16:12)
100%, yeah, exactly.

Used to have this person that I used to know, I'm gonna get back on track. So it's the trying versus committing.

distraction disguised as discipline is that confusing motion with progress. And then the trying versus committing. Well, at least I tried. We talked about that a little bit. That is the anthem of mediocrity.

You want to be normal? I don't want to be normal. I don't want my kids to be normal. I don't want my wife to be normal. I don't want any of my businesses to be normal. I want them to stand out. want people to see me as the poster child for abundance, not the poster child for lack or survivability. Is it good to be known that you're able to be, you know, able to survive? Sure. I'm not taking that away.

What I'm saying is, is that if you're always in a lack or scarcity mindset,

It's the people that try to use this sales tactic that are always hilarious. Well, it's the last one.

Blair Armstrong (17:10)
You

Brent Wright (17:12)
It's the last one. You go on Amazon, only six left.

sense of scarcity makes you move.

the fear of full commitment.

We can go down that road. That's a whole nother podcast in itself.

So we've both been hurt, we've both been wronged, friends.

prior attempts at getting a decent mate. I used to have this saying and April just loves to throw this one in my face in a funny way. I used to tell her, come into my house is like camping in a national forest. You pack it in, you pack it out. If not, if you leave it, if you have a leave behind, it's gonna go in the lost and found and it gets thrown away or donated in two weeks.

Blair Armstrong (17:43)
I remember that.

Brent Wright (17:52)
I had commitment issues, big time.

Blair Armstrong (17:52)
Ha

Yeah.

Brent Wright (17:55)
I couldn't even commit to committing to have a committed discussion.

Blair Armstrong (17:59)
know, when you say that the funny thing is talking about, I this is what I love about our friendship for so long. You had commitment issues, you pack it in, you pack it out. And I was chasing relationships, Chasing, it's like doing it, even though we're toxic and just like staying there like, oh, I can make this work. I can make this work. And I was the opposite. how...

know that's just another form like you're you're addicted to losing because you didn't want to be in a relationship.

Brent Wright (18:27)
Well, it's funny

because I was addicted to losing because I didn't want to lose.

Blair Armstrong (18:32)
Right. And I was addicted to chasing a losing relationship because I didn't want to lose.

and stayed in it. You're like, see ya, and I'm like, no, come here. It's gonna be awesome.

Brent Wright (18:44)
Let's make this train wreck. It's okay.

There's no train coming at you, I promise. It's just a light. It's just a light. It'll be fine.

Blair Armstrong (18:51)
Hahaha!

I know it started off horrible, but I promise you it's gonna get a lot worse. It's gonna be fun. Right? my goodness.

Brent Wright (19:00)
That's confusing, that's confusing motion with progress, right? Well, at least we're

in a relationship. Yeah, but it sucks, you know?

Blair Armstrong (19:08)
You know, hey guys, I know that.

Brent Wright (19:10)
And

then we go back to trying versus committing, right? Well, I keep trying and you just don't keep, you don't commit to me.

Blair Armstrong (19:16)
Yeah,

yeah, you know, it just boy boy and you know, and I also look at it too is now is thank God for those moments for you. And then thanks for those moments for me, even though there were like, you know, the right side twigs and the left side twigs, they're both kind of the same thing and a couple of threads, right? The same is thank God that those things happened, right? I always look at back real quick.

Brent Wright (19:40)
So, yeah.

Blair Armstrong (19:42)
I always look back at the reason why I'm here because Chrissy and I dated 35 years ago in college, man. And it's in a life went opposite ways. And I was just flattered. I was kind of more like you, but whatever. But I look back at it now and I tell everybody this and you even with their rough patches and that we have throughout any type of relationship. But God told me at that time that I wasn't ready for the type of love that Chrissy was going to give me.

Right? And probably the same thing with you with April, I mean, you kids and all this stuff. And so even though we are addicted to losing, maybe it was the point that God wanted us to lose because we weren't ready for the win.

Brent Wright (20:14)
100%.

Correct, 100%. And then here's where the tools start.

Blair Armstrong (20:27)
Right?

Brent Wright (20:32)
be a winner, consistent winner, you have to move at speed, expedited speed. You have to be brutally honest, not only first starting with yourself, but everybody around you. And that doesn't go well with a lot of people. A lot of people don't like to look in the mirror. We have the mirror exercise, right? Well, when you're winning, that is a mirror to all the people that are losing.

or feel like they're losing.

How many friends?

didn't want to hear about your win last year when you told them.

A lot of them, probably.

Blair Armstrong (21:07)
A lot

of them were just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. my God, you did awesome. So hey, did you hear about that game last night? you're like, wait a minute. Did you not hear what I just did? So yeah.

Brent Wright (21:10)
Good for you. Good for you.

Whoa, whoa, back up.

I won, I

wanna share. Well, cause they didn't win and they didn't wanna hear it.

Admitting your flaws, owning your laziness, facing the truth, however painful. Truth creates change. Lies create comfort. Last week we talked about comfort being the biggest tool for losing.

When you get comfortable, it's easy to just accept the loss. You know, no big deal. It'll be okay. I have a potential coaching client that I've been interviewing. And by the way, I'm not the best fit for everybody, guys. I go through a full interview process. You have to fill out paperwork. If you can't fill out paper, it's kind of like in school.

The first requirement of the assignment is to put your name on the top of the page. If you can't put your name on the top of the page, I can't help you. You got to follow the rules. You got to, you got to do the work. you got to show up. And so again, I may not be a good fit because I'm going to challenge you in my coaching to grow and to prosper and to be honest with yourself. I always ask permission.

It's not mean, it's not cruel, it's not unjust. But like this morning in one of my coaching sessions, are you open to criticism today? I need to hear you say yes. I am open to criticism. I don't need to hear you say yes or not. I need to hear you say yes, I'm open to criticism.

Because if you're not, I can't help you and you're gonna be stuck in that place for as long as you decide. Not forever, but as long as you decide.

Blair Armstrong (22:57)
I do when you hear that, I go back to this stuff because I'm freaking, as you know me for so long.

Why is it that people that are closest to you when they criticize you, you just cannot like, why is it so hard? It's like you're talking about addicted to losing. I'm addicted to losing because even though the person that cares about me the most when they're trying to critique me, I just like.

Brent Wright (23:20)
because you feel like you're failing not just you, but them.

Blair Armstrong (23:24)
Okay.

Yeah, that's a true feeling. ⁓

Brent Wright (23:25)
And that's the worst thing is failing

somebody that you're trying to lead, trying that you're failing somebody that you care about, failing somebody that you are called to be the example to. And that is the biggest mirror. That mirror is this big and right in front of your face.

Blair Armstrong (23:43)
Do you think it is, and maybe it's different for some people, but most of the people that actually, everyone that listens to the show, they're constantly raising their standards. That's why we love our people that follow us. But do you think that's why it's so hard because we're constantly looking to raise our standards and trying to get to the next level, which the levels, there's unlimited levels. Job not done right. We always say that. do you think that's why it makes it so hard is because you're pushing so hard to become better? Like you just said, is that

my God, I freaking failed. Not only did I fail, failed to the person I care about the most, my ride to die. And you're just like, it is so hard to swallow. And then you just go into this defense mode and you become instant a-hole because you're like, no, I've been doing so good on this, this, this, this, and this. And you're just trying to find one spot to call me out. And that part, that's, you know, that's.

Brent Wright (24:33)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Well, because you're not ready to use pain as a teacher.

Blair Armstrong (24:41)
I don't.

Brent Wright (24:42)
Yeah, pain

is a teacher and pain is an honest feeling. And at that point, you don't want honesty. want somebody to make you feel better. You want comfort. You want to be comforted. You want to be given a hug. It'll be okay, Blair. You didn't let me down a lot. Right? And if somebody's doing that for you or to you, then they're not helping you. They're just...

Blair Armstrong (24:52)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. It's good.

Brent Wright (25:09)
They're helping you to be complacent. They're not helping you to grow.

Blair Armstrong (25:13)
which we talked about it last week. this one is a little bit of a thorn in my paw right now because I see this a lot with people as painful it is to get critiqued when you're trying to raise your standards. The other side is if you're going to be addicted to losing is what Brent just said there. we want someone to tell us, oh my god, you did a good job. Oh, it's OK. Better luck next time.

and they're enabling failure. And that part, dude, I am, my God, I am, there is stuff that.

Brent Wright (25:41)
Mm-hmm.

Yes.

and disabling learning.

It's

okay to fail. Like I said before, pain is a teacher. Pain and growth are synonymous. They're not just enabling you to be okay with it. They're disabling you to grow.

Blair Armstrong (26:09)
But let's put it this way, where I'm going with this, you're a very good friend of mine. And if I'm starting to act like a jackass, are you going to enable me? Are you going to like, why are you doing this? Not only question me, but like kind of like, hey dude, you got to do this, this, and this. The point that I am seeing a lot lately is basically what you've said kind of is when you're enabling this failure and it's okay and

Don't worry about it. And even though that you made a mistake, it's fine. We still love you instead of dude or chick. This is what you did. There's repercussions with this. Am I not going to be your friend? No, that's not the thing is, but you have to make some changes because you going down the path not only affects you, but it starts affecting me and people.

Brent Wright (27:03)
Not

only affecting you, not only affecting that person, it's you are, if they enable you, as I've said before, they're actually creating a failure for themselves as well.

Blair Armstrong (27:06)
Right?

Right,

right. And that's, know, I see it and it just, it frustrates me. Again, going back to it, at the end of the day, they get the repercussions of all that. I can associate with that or not associate shit. I'm not the person, like, I know what you did. I'll probably treat you a little bit different because you're just going on like nothing ever happened.

there's gotta be an accountability because someone's gonna help me accountable if I mess up. It may not be the person that I'm trying to hold accountable, but you're gonna hold me accountable, Chrissy's gonna hold me accountable. my, like my boys and the people in my life and in my circle, which is super small, somewhere along the line, I'm going to be held accountable or called out like, dude, really? What were you thinking?

So the point, yeah, most of all, God's gonna come up and say.

Brent Wright (28:10)
But ultimately we're all gonna be called out and we're all gonna be judged, right?

Do you want it while you live on this earth? Do you want to be treated just like you're gonna be judged, right? So good and faithful servant, you've done well. Or do you want people to just say, it's okay, it's good, you did okay, you tried, you tried hard, but you know, it's okay.

Blair Armstrong (28:38)
Okay, so let me put it to you, maybe it's a different route because I think it's a little bit different when it's coming from a spouse or an in-depth relationship. If you have a friend that messes up.

Brent Wright (28:39)
There'll be a next time, maybe.

Blair Armstrong (28:54)
and you have a spouse, husband, wife, that messes up basically doing the same thing. Why are you holding them accountable differently?

Because your friend, even though you have a different, I understand the relationship, it's a different commitment, but should it be? It should be the same, right?

Brent Wright (29:10)
It should be the same standard because it's

standards over feelings. We talked about that in episode 70-ish, 76, 78, right?

Blair Armstrong (29:19)
Yeah.

And so.

Well, Blair or Brett, the reason why I enable my friends, I've got enough of my place. I've got enough of my worries. I don't need that. Nothing. Well, then why are you going to call them a friend? Listen, I, Hey, trust me. I've been down that path. I'm not calling you out saying I've done it all right. The right way. have just realistically in the last probably six months of coming out, like if I see you do something, I'm going to call you out on it. Cause I know that I have enough people around me.

that when I mess up, I'm going to get called out on it. I'm trying to raise my standard. I want you, if you're my friend and you mess up, I want you to raise your standard. I don't want to be okay with meteorocracy. I know you don't want to be meteorocres, meteorocres. The point of this is, when Brett and I are telling you this stuff, or all the people are listening and watching this stuff, you know you have that friend. You know you have that person, your relationship, friend, spouse, whatever it is, is.

Brent Wright (30:06)
Yeah.

Blair Armstrong (30:19)
If you continue talking about going here and it's rising every single day and it's your spouse and you're holding them accountable to a standard that you know that, know, a good friend of mine told me is like, is we're a brand and we have to shine that brand every single day. And so when half of my brand does something bad, it affects the other half of the brand, me, you, whatever. You should be treating your friends the same way.

Brent Wright (30:24)
Mm-hmm.

as part of your brand.

Blair Armstrong (30:47)
And if the

part of your brand. Yeah.

Brent Wright (30:50)
We do that with the kids. talk about

the AC on my posts. One of our hashtags is right family brand.

Blair Armstrong (30:57)
Right?

Brent Wright (30:58)
How are you representing our brand? Is this how you want to be seen? Is this leadership qualities?

Blair Armstrong (31:05)
Yeah, if you want to go out and go out and do some stuff and have a good time, that's cool. But knowing that you're under a constant, not only microscope, but you have a full on camera on you 24 seven. Like I don't have camera on me. You have these.

Brent Wright (31:19)
for standards. When you

set standards for yourself, that's really where you find out who your friends are and who's really got your back.

Blair Armstrong (31:28)
And so, and then we're like, well, what does this have addicted to losing? Because us enabling stuff or not holding each other accountable, we are going to let that person that is in that losing space, no matter who it is, to be addicted to it. Because there's always an out. There's always, I feel so bad for you. I did this. And my gosh, dude, I can't imagine. Da-da-da-da. And so what

Typically that person who's addicted to losing, which I'm finding out, which I get in that rut sometimes. I just told you to be in the show. I was in that spot. I was trying to like, kind of doing this and then people are coming after me here, here and here. And I had, I was justifying my mind that my attitude and my actions were right. And all it is is like, you're losing. You're staying in the spot. But the point of it, the point I'm trying to make is, that

If you're going to call them a friend and they're truly your friend and you would take a bullet for them and they're messing up, you can't let them stay in that losing spot. And it's your job to help them out. Well, I have other problems. I don't need to do it. Then don't call them your friend. Just call them an acquaintance. Don't go out to dinner with them every night of the week. Don't go drinking with them every night of the week, whatever that is. And this just goes forever there.

Brent Wright (32:40)
Yeah. ⁓

Well, we've talked about this

before. So when I quit drinking, I stopped getting invited to everything.

Well, why would I invite you to the bar to have a drink? Well, they sell iced tea there too.

Blair Armstrong (32:54)
Yeah.

I know, right?

Brent Wright (33:02)
If that's how we have to engage, then I'm good. I didn't quit drinking because I had a problem. I quit drinking because I wanted to be a better example and I wanted to be healthier. And I wanted to not let something have control of me.

I kept telling myself it didn't have control of me, but unless I quit and tested that, how would I have known?

Blair Armstrong (33:26)
Speaking of Ken McCumber, who's been on here a couple of times, he is, as of November 1st, will be 11 months in without any alcohol. And we're coming up to, it's tough, massive tough. we're, everything, golf and going to dinner last night and everyone's, he's real good, he's with the zeros, he's like a Guinness zero and stuff like that. So we went to,

Brent Wright (33:36)
Good job. That's tough the way you guys are at.

because everything's a social drink, right?

today.

Blair Armstrong (33:55)
we went to a spin class this morning, because I told him like, okay, every Thursday, we either go to a spin class, and then the next week we go on a hike. So just to kind of do something different, break up the monomy. So we're talking, I'm like, dude, you're getting close, you know, two more months. And he's like, I don't know if I'm gonna go back.

Brent Wright (34:10)
I didn't. I didn't go back. I don't look back.

Blair Armstrong (34:12)
You know, and didn't go back.

And I said, don't. It's like, mean, what's really going to change on January 1st if you go back? He goes, you know, he goes, I asked you a question that day. It's like, do know anybody that's gone sober for a year and then transitioned back and forth? And he goes, but in the other sense, it's like, I just don't know if I want to go back.

I did Live Hard and basically didn't drink for six months on and off. Live Hard is a six month program here and there, 30 days. the point I'm trying to say is that I have a different control over it. You saw me in my worst. Those were fun but horrible days. Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah.

Brent Wright (34:53)
And you saw me at worst and you didn't know that I was even struggling with that. I didn't know that I was struggling.

Blair Armstrong (35:02)
When kegerators show up your house, it's not a good idea. I have one of those too, dude. It's not a good idea. But the point of it is, is...

Ken is looking for a different type of success. He's gone down the path, he's had parties, he knows that he could have a relationship with his favorite libation, whatever that may be. But now you're questioning it. And now it's almost a question of like, how do I keep answering the question that I don't want to drink anymore? Well, I just don't feel like I want to do it anymore. I really enjoy.

going to bed at eight o'clock, waking up at four o'clock in the morning, feeling fresh and getting after it and going on a hike and doing those things. So.

It's your win, McCumber, when you're watching this, because he follows this stuff. It's your win. It's nobody else's win. So.

Brent Wright (35:47)
Well, he won.

He won the internal battle. He dominated his inner weakness. That's my next point is that this is an internal battle. It's an outward battle as well. And your friends, your true friends will help you with this. They'll help you turn off or not listen to that voice of weakness. We all have inner weaknesses. Mine used to be Oreo cookies.

Blair Armstrong (35:50)
Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Brent Wright (36:11)
tonight.

Blair Armstrong (36:12)
dude, don't say that. It's so bad, but so good.

Brent Wright (36:14)
Those are poison. Like they're just straight poison.

But they make you feel good and they make you feel comfortable and they make you feel happy, right? And that's it by design. There's like 80 ingredients in an Oreo cookie.

I saw this reel yesterday with this guy pouring molten lava on an Oreo cookie and it wasn't melting. Like molten metal. And it still made me want one. didn't even, you know, it's like, it's that, but you have to get rid of that voice of inner weakness, that internal battle. Discipline. 75 Hard was really great. And the Live Hard program was really great for this, for you and I.

Blair Armstrong (36:37)
That weird.

Brent Wright (36:54)
Also, action is an antidote. 75 Heart definitely helped with that as well. The accountability of me and you going, well, one more day, one more day, right? Nick and Rachel, they listened to us and they're doing the Live Hard program and they're partially way through the second phase, I believe.

Blair Armstrong (37:11)
Yeah.

Good job, Nick, by the way. We're following you, Keep going, bro.

Brent Wright (37:15)
And he's engaged his whole family in it. His whole family is healthier because of it. My whole family is healthier because of it. The next point is strength versus feelings. True strength is not feeling confident or motivated.

Blair Armstrong (37:17)
That's awesome.

Brent Wright (37:28)
It's executing what must be done when you feel tired, scared, uninspired. I don't care how I feel. Things still have to get done.

It goes back to what I've said before. You have to be everything to everyone. Do I want to be everything to everyone? Man, that's a big, big lift every day.

but action is your antidote. Remember that from before.

It dies when you move. You must move consistently. No different than exercise. You must move consistently. One of my chiropractors says this, Dr. G, motions lotion.

Blair Armstrong (38:06)
Yeah.

Brent Wright (38:07)
Motion in your physical and your mental and your spiritual movements are lotion to those things. And then and then, of course, here's the key. The key is building power through repetition.

You must be consistent. must build power through repetition. I'm not saying that you can't fail because failure is going to teach you something.

Pain is going to give you opportunities to adjust your purpose and your standards. And you should do that.

Here's one of my last points to this. The inevitable cost of greatness, sacrifice and obsession. Winning is not a matter of wanting, it's a matter of being willing to pay the non-negotiable price which is paid through sacrifice, obsession and endurance in isolation.

If you want to know if you can survive anything.

Do it alone.

Have you seen that show alone where these guys go out for like 90 to 120, 180 days, 300 days, and they're just out there in the wilderness and they go freaking crazy. Like they call the sat phone, I can't stand it, I need to talk to somebody else. And then they lose.

And you, to be a true winner, have to be obsessed. You know, let's go back to Michael Jordan from sports stuff. He was obsessed. 100 % obsessed is the reason why he won. He won at all costs to the cost of his family, to the cost of his friends, to the cost of his body, to the cost of his teammates.

He was a true inspiration and a leader to his teammates.

Blair Armstrong (39:38)
Yeah.

Brent Wright (39:39)
Read some of the stuff about him from his teammates. It's crazy. one guy's like, why they asked him, why are you still practicing?

Blair Armstrong (39:46)
So.

Brent Wright (39:46)
Go ahead.

Blair Armstrong (39:46)
Everything

you said right there is just so spot-on So are you guys so you know Mike my question is you guys you've heard us for the past two episodes Are you addicted to losing and we're talking about this? So how long are you gonna stay in your loss? I don't know Brent doesn't know what your loss is. I don't know what your loss is Let us know what your loss is. How long you're gonna be stuck in it ⁓ How how many people around you are enabling that loss? I'm sure that I have a loss that I get enabled by because it's just you know the

Brent Wright (40:06)
Mm-hmm.

Blair Armstrong (40:16)
the confrontation of getting that loss exposed.

Brent Wright (40:20)
The biggest fear is the biggest fear is the fear of winning and that you're going to be alone and nobody's going to be with you during that win.

And so everybody wants everybody around them. Think about this. If you're in the company of 12 people that are drinking and you're the only guy not drinking, what do you feel like?

Blair Armstrong (40:30)
It may not.

I won.

Brent Wright (40:44)
Well, you do now, because you know what the cost is, right? But most people would feel like they're losing because 12 other people are doing it and I'm not, so I must be the loser.

Blair Armstrong (40:45)
Yeah. Yeah.

Brent Wright (40:56)
Being okay with being alone and not being a loser.

And I'm not saying drinking, people that drink are losers. I'm saying that that's your typical feeling. The social response is if 12 people are doing it and I am not, there must be something wrong.

There must, because 12 people are doing it. So there must be something wrong with me.

Blair Armstrong (41:16)
What a crazy thought, right?

Brent Wright (41:18)
It is.

Blair Armstrong (41:18)
I can't pass a plate of cookies because someone made them for me. So if I don't eat them.

that person.

Brent Wright (41:25)
when it doesn't fit your workout plan, when it doesn't fit your diet plan, when it doesn't fit your, I mean, how many people do you know that are pre-diabetic or diabetic and still eat a massive amount of cookies and donuts and everything, and people still give them to them as gifts, and they're just, they're not just addicted to the sugar, they're addicted to comfort, they're addicted to feeling, because it makes you feel good.

Blair Armstrong (41:29)
doesn't do anything beneficial, yeah.

Brent Wright (41:54)
And it's supposed to, right? Because it hits that area of your brain that crack cocaine does.

Blair Armstrong (41:54)
We're dead.

100 % too,

but going back to again, there you go right there, right? We talked about enabling. We had this big stint for so long body positivity, right? And people are just massively unhealthy. it's bold is beautiful and blah, blah, blah, blah. The strain on not only your body, but on healthcare in general, because of this.

this constant drugs and da da da. Now all these people that were, you know, big is beautiful. All of sudden, bam, we take that magic pill called ol' Zempic and everyone's like trying to lose weight and stuff like that because it was such a hurdle to get over to it. I mean, not saying that they're staying on it or whatever, but it was that hurdle like, I can't live this one anymore. What's a quick fix? everyone's chasing. The point of it is so.

Brent Wright (42:45)
And everybody's chasing the quick fix, right? Not willing, not willing to invest.

Blair Armstrong (42:51)
If I offend some people on that, that's on you. Bottom line is it's not healthy. You can't look at the deep down. I'll just, I'll stay off of it, but whatever. The point of it is, is that's, it's you're enabling, you're enabling an unhealthy life. You're enabling a loss. If, if you're saying that you're not telling people concerns, and it may not be, you may not be a big person. Maybe you know somebody.

That's having an eating disorder on the other side of it and you know it but you're not saying anything is You're enabling that loss Dude or chick whoever's listening to that that they know about because it affects both men and women Say something and you're your friend. You're their family. That's what we're talking about That's why we do this freaking podcast. Just like yeah, I get passionate like this would probably my passionate moment of the podcast It's like got it, know, Brent and I asked once enough enough, man

You guys come in watch this podcast and do some stuff and you say some really great things. So what are you doing to make, what are you to take our stuff that we're getting from you, learning from you as our friends and our family and on stuff. What are you doing to go and share that with somebody? And that's all we ask to share it. Cause we know that it'll help somebody. Not calling and making you a bad person. We know that you enjoy it. So go help somebody else and let's help somebody else. mean, it's really easy to comment how great Kim Kardashian is or.

My God, did you see that 18 minute, know, the 18th inning Dodger game the other night? Did that really change your life? Seriously, did change your life? It was 18, was it awesome? Sure, it was awesome. It was cool. But I guarantee you in six months from now, you're not gonna be talking about it. Or do you want to six months from now is I helped my friend who was stuck in a bad relationship and I helped that relationship get better.

Brent Wright (44:33)
Mm-hmm.

Blair Armstrong (44:40)
Brent, I helped this guy that was, you know, he had a successful business. had, and all of a sudden he had this hurdle that he couldn't get over. I helped him. And not only did that help his business, but it helped him to keep his family together. So and so forth. Our job as people is not only to go ahead and have relationships, but help each other become better. We do not have all the tools in our toolbox to fix anything in our life. So get to some with people that want to help you win and get to the next level. And when you do that,

Brent Wright (44:51)
Mm-hmm.

Blair Armstrong (45:10)
you go ahead and you take that and you go find the next person, next person. So go back and watch 125 other of our episodes, find the one that really fits you and share that with your friend and start a discussion on how you guys can help each other or maybe it's a spouse or whatever, how you guys can help each other kind of get to the next level and then call us and then we'll get you on the show and then you can tell us how you work together. It's our version of 75 heart.

Any final words, dude?

Brent Wright (45:37)
Be a bridge builder, not just for yourself, but your friends, anybody that you interact with. a connector. And most of all, go make a damn difference.

Blair Armstrong (45:46)
Losing isn't okay. Not what we're on this world for. Losing is not okay. And we're gonna take some. But as Brent said, go be a bridge builder. Take your loss and help somebody else get better. All right, brother. Guys, stay tuned next week. We have Debbie Bennett coming on here who is an addiction psychologist. She's going to give us some insight on that. It's gonna kinda coincide this week.

Brent Wright (46:06)
Mmm.

Blair Armstrong (46:10)
In about two weeks, I've got to get a book out to Brent so he can power through it. But Gigi Mataka will be coming back with her new book. So we have some cool stuff happening. share the show. Hit the subscribe button. Hit the notification bell. Do all that stuff. But until we see each other the next week, guys, stay safe. most of all, God bless. Take

Brent Wright (46:19)
Yeah, yeah.