OGSR Episode #110 Do You Trust Me?
Download MP3When you give empathy, it is not just for the other person. When you give trust, it's not just for the other person. It makes you a better human and a better individual and it makes you feel something. It gives you an oxytocin bump, if you will, or a cortisol or adrenaline hit depending upon where you're at in the adrenaline junkie world or life, you know, but in essence, when you give trust and give empathy, you're not just doing it for them, you're doing it for yourself too. No different than why do people give to charities?
Brent:Because they like the feeling. It's all about the feeling.
Blair:All right, all right, all right. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, wherever you may be. If this is your first time here, I'm Blair Armstrong of Team Armstrong Coldwell Banker. I'm a global luxury specialist in the world of residential real estate located here in the beautiful, beautiful, not cold climate of the Coachella Valley. We will hit a nice, nice temperature today, probably between one hundred fifteen and one hundred eighteen today.
Blair:It is the yucky time of year here in this beautiful valley. But again, if this is your first time here, this is Old Guys Still Rock. As I said, I'm Blair Armstrong on my left, possibly your right, depending on how this comes out as an edit. It seems to change every week, but we love it. My very, very, very good friend for almost thirty years, Brent Wright of Brent Wright Incorporated.
Blair:He is, I don't wanna ever call him the co host because him and I designed this podcast together. Without him, this would not exist. Without him, we would not have joined into episode 110 today. So Brent Wright of Brent Wright Incorporated located in beautiful Eugene, Oregon. Actually, I'd rather be there right now.
Blair:It's probably warm for them, but I'd probably be wearing a coat where he is right now. So what's up my dude? How are you? What is going That on in your
Brent:was a great intro. Thank you very much as always. It's gonna be a balmy 80 degrees today, so it's probably colder than when you how you started this morning. So
Blair:It is.
Brent:Yeah. Yep. Yep. It's been, it's been a very interesting turn of events the last couple of weeks, and I think we're gonna get into that a little bit today. I feel like people are afraid to move.
Brent:Mhmm. They're afraid to take action. They're afraid to commit to anything. They're afraid to just really trust in any process, even the most simplest things. And it's been very very interesting to watch.
Brent:I'm trying to convey this in a way that doesn't seem like frustration. It is debilitating to watch seemingly intelligent, competent people mesmerized and polarized to the point of inaction because of what? I don't know. I really don't. And so that's kind of where I'm at today is just trying to understand what the universe has for us going forward and try to understand my interactions with people and how I can do those better, I guess.
Blair:It's a lot, right? I mean, everyone is at high tension. Talked about, I just took my blood pressure the other day and I was feeling pretty good and I got it like, that's not good. I looked up on my mother and I was like, Oh, that seems pretty good. And they're like, Yeah, you got some hypertension rolling.
Blair:And I'm like, Shit. So I just got done. Take TMG. TMG? I love it.
Brent:MG. Google that or go on Amazon and look up TMG by NOW Foods.
Blair:Okay.
Brent:That is what I take, and it's been a game changer. I got that off of Gary Breca and test it. Right? And so, like I had I take double the amount that it says on the bottle because like Gary said, you know, everybody's an individual and everybody's different. Not everybody.
Brent:Yes, everybody's different, but everybody is different. How they respond to inputs and outputs. That has dropped my blood pressure down considerably. I
Blair:love it.
Brent:And so try that out.
Blair:I will definitely do that.
Brent:You and anybody else, give that a shot.
Blair:All right. I think a lot of us need that too. Know, I just got done. I hope first and foremost, I hope everyone had a great fourth of July. We put out an episode on the fourth and just kind of a long weekend, a lot of eating out, doing some different things.
Blair:Long story short is on Saturday afternoon at 02:30, he decided to do a seventy two hour fast.
Brent:Oh.
Blair:Water fast with electrolytes. I had a McCumber has done one. McCumber, if you guys don't know who that is, he's been on our show a couple times. It's great, great insight on from him. And then we went out to dinner with another guy named Rick Jones.
Blair:He does one once a month. And so I started reading into it and I just heard this and these are the guys going back to what we will get into here in a little bit as these guys, I trust them. Their track record has proven there's trust in these guys, right? So anyway, I'm like, after playing golf, we had basically three days of leftovers and didn't have any breakfast that morning. Came back and I'm like, you know, it's basically Saturday.
Blair:Nothing's going on. It's fourth of July weekend, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So I had a half a rack of ribs, three pieces of pizza and an IPA. And I'm like, oh God, that tasted so good. And then I'm like, and about ten minutes later, like, that wasn't a good idea.
Blair:You know, my, I am not 21 anymore and, just powering that stuff down was not good. So long story short is I decided right there, just clicked in. I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna do this 21 I'm gonna do this seventy two hour fast. And it was an experience.
Blair:I learned a lot about it. I've read a lot about about it. I I we will get in more into it later, but I will say this, kinda like doing live hard program.
Brent:Mhmm.
Blair:It'll change your life for the better. I know that you've probably you and April probably read a lot about this and know different things about fasting. I get that some of you guys may have have heard about this and do this stuff. It was very intriguing how God has had our body that it can redevelop itself within seventy two hours. So not eating food, but just having water.
Blair:Your body starts eating dead cells, which could be cancerous cells or could be a sexually transmitted disease cell that you've been trying to conquer for years, to the onset of dementia. It just, the list goes on and on and on and on and on of things because the body's trying to survive. Any type of energy or dead cells that can get energy from, it will eat it dispose of it obviously urination or pooping, whatever you want to call it. Yeah. Anyway, if you guys want to try it, give me a call, text me.
Blair:Obviously, April and Brent, they have an amazing wellness center out in Eugene. They probably have some good insight in there, but I strongly suggest you do it. As I said, one of my friends that does it, he does it once a month. I'm probably gonna do it once a quarter. I learned a lot from this one.
Blair:I'm gonna go in with better nutrition. I would've helped out a lot of that way. I had so much toxin in my body. It was a little rough at the start. Just eating bad food, dude.
Blair:It's not, wasn't like bad, bad food. Wasn't not eating at Carl's Jr. Or anything like that, but I was just, you know, ribs and pizza and beer. It just wasn't the nutrients that needed to go into that. So I learned a lesson.
Blair:It was good. Yesterday, did just like I had three first form energy drinks in me. Today I'm jacked. So I'm excited. I know that was a I'm just telling you, if you guys are looking for a reset and you don't wanna do 75 hard, which I strongly suggest you do anyway, but a good reset for just seventy two hours of your life, which is seems like a long time.
Blair:Do a seventy two hour fast, and I can help you through it, and I'll get you guys if you want more information that I can't provide. So
Brent:Well, the one thing that you said preshow was I can hear everything. Like, you you have a mental acuity that's different than before, it seems. You're probably smelling things differently. You're probably seeing things differently. You are, as a friend of mine says, Todd, he's like, you're probably the days seem shinier.
Brent:He knows when he's struggling when the days don't seem shiny anymore. That's his adjective that he uses. And so I do things like that. So I do an eighteen hour fast every day.
Blair:Okay. So so yeah.
Brent:Yeah. Anywhere between sixteen and eighteen hours pretty consistently. It definitely helps with the fogginess and the grogginess and the ability to just pop up right out of bed and all those things. So
Blair:yep. And we'll and Brent will attest to this too is it works for us. But if you have health issues, see somebody that's a that's smarter in the medical field than
Brent:Well, on that, my general manager for The Body Shop, his brother started down this road and didn't get a lot of help with a doctor or anything like that before he made a lot of drastic changes in his life. And he started intermittent fasting, ended up having a stroke at like 40 he's at twenty four hour care now.
Blair:Yeah. There's some tension in the body and some things might come to just Just be warned, your body is gonna detoxify and it'll add extra stress.
Brent:Yeah. Get some help first.
Blair:Check into it. Check your There's great information through I would suggest getting
Brent:a blood test. I get a blood test every six to eight weeks.
Blair:So Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, dude. Let's get into it.
Blair:Strap it in, man. As I said, I got some stuff that, you know, I wanted to talk to you about, but I wanna get into a deep question. And you and I have known each other for thirty years, but brought up this topic. You just you know, you started with a say so. Do you trust me?
Blair:That's my question to you, Brent.
Brent:So in inherently, I think an arbitrary question. Okay.
Blair:So
Brent:the quick answer is yes. The long answer is in what context and in what situation? Right?
Blair:Right on.
Brent:So for me to clarify, trust everybody until I don't.
Blair:Right.
Brent:Okay. And then trust is earned, of course, layers of trust, levels of trust. I think trust, if I had to explain it, is how somebody talks about you when you're not in the room. That for me is a real measurement of trust. Do I trust any of my male friends to spend the night with my wife in the same room?
Brent:No. Human nature. K? And it's not that I don't trust the friend. It's not that I don't trust my wife.
Brent:But locks just keep honest people honest. K? Do I trust anybody with my kids? No. That trust is earned.
Brent:I protect my kids, protect my wife with my life. A 100%. So again, there's layers and levels of trust. There's situational trust, an overarching trust. Do I trust you to be a good human?
Brent:Probably not because you're a fallible human. Do I trust me to be a good human? Probably not because I'm a fallible human. Right? But do I trust that most people wanna do the right thing?
Brent:Yeah. Do I trust that they're gonna fail? For sure. You see where I'm getting at with this? It's like, it's just layer layers and levels, layers and levels.
Blair:And I think that's even important, and I think that's where we're at. But here's, you know, no, I'm gonna this is gonna be on the back end of this too, but we're gonna start with it. I I'm gonna start with it now, and you can
Brent:Mhmm.
Blair:Take it to where you wanna go is. What I am seeing, what you just talked about today, you know, what you said at the beginning of the show is like, I just feel like this weird vibe. Can't, you know, trust in everyone and no one's doing anything. Everyone's just kind of sitting around.
Brent:Mhmm.
Blair:We are massively and if, again, if you haven't watched this before, go back and watch 109 episodes that we have in the past visit, especially last week about building your kingdom. Right now is that time to really, if you haven't started or you got halfway through and you quit, or you thought that your kingdom was being built, this is the time to start adding layers to that kingdom. And this is going to tie into that. But what Brent said, he's frustrated right now. It's like, he just like everyone not doing anything.
Blair:Say that again, what you're what you're having a hard time with, because I'm missing some words and I want to a make sure
Brent:lack lack of action.
Blair:A lack of action.
Brent:Right? People are just captive and not producing any decision making ability. I just feel like everybody's afraid to act for fear of making the wrong choice.
Blair:So here's what I'm seeing. And if you guys do, you know, we have great listeners, super smart, lots of wisdom with all of our listeners and our followers. And Brent knows that. I know that. I mean, that's who watches the show.
Blair:So if you're first time here and you wanna be surrounded by those people, stay with us and and subscribe to this channel and do that stuff. Here's what I'm seeing right now. Veils are being unlisted. Media is driving someplace, and I'm not making this whatever, because this is on both sides. We're trying to stay in the middle on this.
Blair:But all of a sudden it's like, I trusted that this was the right thing that was happening. And now it's shown to me that it's not happening. And this person that I trusted before has betrayed me because I think this way. And so what Brett and I have been trying for 109 episodes is to pull, especially men, women are better than this, but however, it's getting back to where women are going into this too, which is super scary to me. Going into a silo mentality or staying into a small circle and not communicating anymore.
Blair:With a lack of communication, I'm going say this and I'll go back and say something. With a lack of communication, the trust is eroding faster and faster and faster every single day. And it's at a point for me that I typically don't give an ish, like whatever, I'm gonna get better with or without you, that it's now reaching a point that we've gotta do something. If it starts with Brent and I, or if it starts with all of our all of our listeners and followers, great. That's where it starts with.
Blair:We're not we're not. It's my fault. It's Brent's fault. Everyone is guilty of this. So there is no like, oh, I don't do that.
Blair:Yeah, you do. Because what Brent just said, we're all fallible humans. I'm going to own my shit and it's just going to be what it is. And so now everyone's here to say something. Oh my god.
Blair:I voted for Trump, some of my friends are not like me. And oh my god. I hate Trump, and and I just don't understand how someone could do this, and duh duh duh duh. Now some of my friends don't like me, and I don't wanna say anything. It's like, so I'm not gonna I'm not gonna talk about what I'm upset about anymore, and I'm just gonna pretend everything's rose colored glasses and and fairy tales and unicorns are gonna be running around.
Blair:And the biggest thing is I said to you, how are we supposed to evolve when we get to that state? And to me, this is not this is this a dark versus light supernatural force is keeping us apart. That's my belief, you guys could go ahead and just, if you say, Blair, you're crazy, put it in comments. I don't care, let's debate it. That would be great because now we have communication.
Blair:So where Brent is frustrated right now is like, Brent is that guy. He's gonna go in, which is a great, great avenue, which not a lot of people is. He's gonna go in trusting you. He knows that he could possibly be burned. And then there's a good chance that it's gonna happen.
Blair:But it's better for Brent to go in trusting that Brent not going in and trusting. Does that make sense what I just said?
Brent:It's
Blair:better for you to go ahead and put your ego, your heart, your everything, everything into it. It's like, I'm going to trust you with this, whatever the situation is.
Brent:Trust and verify. Trust but verify.
Blair:Right. It's going to be a process for thirty years. Do I have your ultimate trust?
Brent:Well, as high as the five people in my life that I find value in and find value in me. Yeah. Right? It's the same level with everybody. It's not a per person thing.
Brent:It's a, do I trust humans?
Blair:No. But but I was just saying this, you could trust me today, but we have to you and me, and I'm using you guys
Brent:It's a constant validation is what you're saying. Constant validation.
Blair:And until we go see Jesus, we are gonna constantly be evaluating our trust and how do we get better? How do how am I communicating with Brent? How am I communicating with with my wife? How am I communicating with my clients? How am I constantly paying attention to that word trust, which is precisely to me the second part of building your kingdom that my smart part of being is, how am I building that trust with them every single day?
Blair:And if Brett or I, and I'm gonna take out, I'm gonna get rid of this mic here for two seconds, but I have to get this thought out before my things go sideways. If I stop evolving, why should anybody continue to trust me?
Brent:I 100% agree with that. There's been a lot of comments lately from people that I've had discussions with, deep discussions, people that are in that five person circle, etcetera, and beyond that five person circle. So you have layers. So you have the five people that you trust the most. Right?
Brent:And then you have the, the 15 to 30 people that you trust implicably or implicitly, if you will, but they they sometimes let you down. Okay? So again, humans, fallible, all those things, not trying to judge. But in talking with a highly intelligent, highly action oriented individual this last week, he says, I'm just gonna quit. It's too hard.
Brent:I'm not doing it anymore. I don't wanna deal with it. I'm not doing it well. It's not profitable. It doesn't make me feel good, so I'm just gonna walk.
Brent:And now my version of that person, not that I put him on a pedestal, not that he was a hero, not that he was any you know, none of those things. So just an average human being in my world. My world's a little different. So an average human being is somebody that accelerates, you know, 110, 120% and expects nothing in return. Okay?
Brent:That's an average human being in the world of people that I try to surround myself with, but he's ready to quit. And if you really dissect the reason that he's wanting to quit, sorry about that. If you really dissect the reason he's wanting to quit is because he didn't give it a 100% in the beginning, so he didn't get the results that he expected. So now he just wants to quit. Instead of giving that 110, 120% and achieving a different result or deciding that he's going to pivot his actions to get that result, he's just gonna walk away.
Brent:And now I don't trust going into business with him ever. If he's gonna quit when it gets hard, I don't wanna go into business with you.
Blair:And, God, that's just so good because it just goes back to it. That is where we have come because we're instantaneous society. We've talked about this so much, too. It's like, okay, it's just not working out. I'm not going to trust the process.
Blair:Now, because this one guy didn't trust the process because he, somebody that he did trust, let him down. And now it's going to affect the relationship that Brent has with this guy, because the lack of trust that you're going to stick when the fire gets hot. You're not going to do that. Your trust with April is evolving every day. Your trust with the kids are evolving every day.
Blair:My trust with Chrissy, the same thing, and vice versa, her trust in me. So those are the things we're seeing too. And I think the biggest thing that we're seeing is this, again, we have always, and this is why Brent and I always talk about, be a leader. Be a leader. Everyone's equipped to be a leader in a different way or not, but you are equipped to be a leader.
Blair:And this is what I'm having a hard time with. And I think Brett kind of said this in different words. And you can correct me if I'm wrong when I say this. But we have looked to people that we haven't invested with, unless we're watching it on TV or a movie, blah, blah, blah, as our leaders. We trust them without peeling back the onion and really get to know them.
Blair:Oh, they're on TV, so they gotta be famous. We can trust them. Oh, it's on the news. We see that. We trust them.
Blair:Even though there's news channels bait each other. But that's the point. The point of it is, and now all of this stuff that we grew up on, because we're old guys still rock, that stuff that we grew up on, we're seeing the people that we put our trust in fail or not tell us the truth or come short on what they say or find out they were in situations they shouldn't be in. And it goes back, if I can't trust them, why should I trust you?
Brent:Well, I'll give you a for instance. So yesterday I was talking with a staff member and recalling since I am an old guy that still rocks, Russell Simmons, deaf comedy jam. And they had never heard of it before. And I was like, yeah, he's done all kinds of stuff. So let's look it up on Wikipedia.
Brent:So we go into Wikipedia and come to find out he'd been accused of molesting underage girls 14 times. Didn't know that. I'm sitting there telling a staff member that he had one of the coolest shows in the February, late nineties and February, early two thousands. And he seemed like a good dude and he had a, he was a good businessman and he had good, you know, he had supported many acts and supported cultural diversity and supported a lot of good nonprofits and all those things, very wealthy individual. I didn't know that.
Brent:And now my trust in the fact that he was actually a good individual just shrank. And I don't put Russell Simmons on a pedestal. I just thought he had a cool show.
Blair:Mhmm.
Brent:And he and I'd heard good things. But then he disappeared. Well, why did he disappear? Well, if you're accused 14 times, you'd probably disappear too if it was true. So it tells me your actions after that tell me and validate your actions before that.
Brent:And then I have a lack of trust.
Blair:So this goes back to it. And again, guys, if you haven't watched last week's episode, stop right now, go back and watch episode 109 and apply it to what I'm just gonna say right now. This goes back to, this is the time. I understand I'm guilty of it. And I'm constantly
Brent:I talk trying you off the political ledge all the time. All the time.
Blair:Listen, I'm in a constant state of involvement, which probably goes to my hypertension and stuff like that. But the point I'm trying to make is right now we are begging, and we've done this, I feel like for the last two months, is begging you guys to become the leader that God put inside of you. And if you don't know how to find that, reach out to Brent, reach out to me, come be in our circle. I'm not saying that we're the smartest guys in the world, but we have learned over 109 episodes how to talk things out, maybe apply different things. Brent has one way of a thought, I have a different way of a thought.
Blair:And that's why we work so well together. I can confidently say, and I know that we don't have the viewers because Brent and I have never bought anything. We know what it takes to go ahead and build something from scratch, and it's going to take a little bit of time. I yes, we'd love to have a million followers. Absolutely 100%.
Blair:But we're not gonna buy them. We're not going to have paid sponsors go ahead and give us fictitious followers to make us look cool. This is who we are. So I will say this, besides Andy Frisella, and there's a couple others. I'm just gonna put him out there because he's grown his from grassroots.
Blair:Mhmm. We have one of the best podcasts that's out there right now. I can promise you that. And if you don't think so, tell us different, tell us differently. But we're not having commercials on here.
Blair:We're not paid propaganda. We're just jumping. We're two guys that are sitting out here being real, being vulnerable, saying, you know, there's times that we'll share with you, we're getting our arses kicked. It's not fun.
Brent:Mhmm.
Blair:We're spending our time to get out here because we know that what we're going through is what you guys are going through or what you ladies are going through. And there has to be better support and attainable support. And I think that's one thing that is missing in this podcast world because, oh my gosh, it's like, I wish I could do that. Well, you know what? You have an opportunity to do that here.
Blair:You can write in what you you can come on this show, share your stuff. It helps out with anxiety. I have massive anxiety before I come out of here every time. Am I gonna sound really good? Is it gonna come off great?
Blair:I don't know. But we're gonna do it, and we know that we're helping people every single day. But the point of going too long winded, going back to it, is build your kingdom right now. And then build that, find another kingdom that's next to you that you trust. Okay.
Blair:I'm building my kingdom with my wife and I'm building my kingdom with Brent. Those are my guys and there's more guys to that, but I'm just kind of using those three as examples right Those who are building my kingdom with. Why? Is because they're building their kingdom and there's trust in that. They're going to Brent is gonna give me stuff.
Blair:McCumber is gonna give me stuff. My wife obviously is going to give me stuff, which is all amazing wisdom that we can build these kingdoms together. And when people see these kingdoms gone, Brent's might be faster than mine. McCumber's might be more shinier than mine at different times. But eventually I will get to that spot and they're going to feed off me.
Blair:And that's what I'm talking about. And when you're doing that, there's trust involved with that because there has to be communication. There's emotion that's shared with that. There's transparency shared with building that kingdom. There's consistency with building that kingdom.
Blair:And yes, I'm talking about that. But all of that. So transparency, empathy, and consistency are the three main things that you need to have to build a trust. And so whatever those are that you're lacking, again, transparency, this is like, hey, how are you doing? Oh, I'm doing really good.
Blair:It's awesome. I'm getting my ass kicked today. It's freaking brutal out there. And if you're in any type of industry right now, it's freaking brutal out there. Be transparent.
Blair:Share your feelings. What are you struggling with? How? Or I struggle with this. This is my win.
Brent:One of my coaching clients this morning said in his check-in, he's stressed out, feels out of control. He feels like it's too much effort for the level of detail that's needed and wanted for most of the projects he's working on. He feels insecure and angry and frustrated about finances and feels like he's being attacked by all of the governing entities in his business. And they're just it's just a money grab from all the governing entities. And when somebody tells you something, what's the first thing that comes to mind when they tell you something like that?
Brent:Go ahead go ahead and answer. Tell me, and then I'll tell you what I what I did. Yeah.
Blair:Yeah. It's just like, oh, yeah. I understand. And and and this is what you need to do. Fix it.
Blair:It's my it what comes to my brain.
Brent:So I used to go into the fix it mode. So with, I led with empathy and alignment and then asked what I could do to serve to help with those. So I didn't say, Yep, I understand. Because I might not. And I understand it's kind of like an easy way just to shut the door and close the box and put it on the shelf.
Brent:I said, I feel similarly and I know a lot of people that I talk to feel very similarly. And I said, What can I do to help? And what do you need from me? And then we went down that road. And at the end, and it wasn't just because he's my coaching client, I truly would do that for anybody.
Brent:And so call, text, email, reach out, and we'd like to hear from you about how you're feeling about what's going on in the world, your world, the universe from your perspective, and how how we can help even if it is just to listen.
Blair:And that's what's missing. It's where the biggest part of trust right there. Now that's what Brent just said is just so, so good because there's a lack of empathy. It's me, me, me, me, me, me. And it's with everybody at certain times, especially on a GoGo gadget we're building.
Blair:It's me, me, me, me, me, me, me. And Brent's wisdom, and I promise you, probably five years ago, there wasn't that in Brent's DNA. Am I correct in saying that? Yeah. How awesome is that?
Brent:Growth and prosperity is my goal.
Blair:S crazy, right? Yep. Something so simple, but so amazingly powerful and just to get that. So I wanna hope you guys go back and listen to that. This, this is a good one so far.
Blair:This is a really good episode so far. Just like last week and this week, guys, if you haven't followed us before, you better follow us now, man, because there's some good stuff happening. So I reached out to actually started as a client. We are becoming really, really good friends. This guy is just one of those salt of the earth.
Blair:There is not a lot of filter with him, but man, he is pure heart. He has tasted life on every different aspect of it and is not afraid to share his stuff. He's does he's not like he's not a just as like, this is what it is. I've learned a lot and wants to share. So I asked him today, which we toss it today.
Blair:So I've asked a couple of people this. I'm gonna read this one to you. And then, Brenna, I want you to respond to this. And then I have one more to read to you. And I said, what is your biggest hurdle trust these days?
Blair:And he wrote back to me and goes, it's unfortunate that there's very little trust in this world today, family, friends, business partners, and business deals. Today's world is consumed with greed. People forget we are all in this deal together and that's the problem. Everyone wants the upper hand. Everyone, excuse me, go write that.
Blair:So everyone wants the upper hand. And at the end of the day, with that mindset, all you have is stuff, no family, no friends, just stuff. How, you said a little bit earlier in this show, how do we build trust, First of all, and I'm going to keep saying this, how are you going to build trust without empathy? Even though that you have empathy, are you consistent with that? And maybe you are consistent with that.
Blair:But are you being transparent? When we, Brenna and I talk about this, there is going to be an involvement. This is not, we are the gurus of what s going on here. We are letting you know, we are going to ride with you. And when I say you, everyone that's watching this or listening to this right now, we are here to ride with you and start a new era of trust that has been eroding drastically and over years.
Blair:This is not the last six months, four years, eight years, sixteen years. This is not that. This has been eroding for a long time and now we're becoming bitter. And that's what I said what scares Trent and what scares us. And this is why we do this stuff every week consistently.
Blair:Consistently. I swear to God, man, I know that you said we have in the past. I don't remember us missing a week. I know we've been off on days. I don't remember us missing a week.
Brent:We missed only one.
Blair:Did we? Okay.
Brent:We missed only one.
Blair:Yeah. Do we need to do this?
Brent:Nope. Nope. Doesn't earn us a dollar.
Blair:Yeah.
Brent:Cost us money. Cost us time. Yeah. What I can tell you the value for me is though, is not just the connection with you.
Blair:Yeah.
Brent:It's the connection with many other people that listen to us. It's the connection with my wife. It's the connection with your wife. It's the connection with my kids. My kids listen to this on their tablets.
Brent:They get two hours a day of tablet and TV time period. And that's if they get their 7,000 steps in and they are taking their time that they earn to listen to us on this podcast for an hour. They're burning up an hour a week of their ten hours to listen to us. That is the best payout I could ever get. That is worth more than money.
Blair:And that's why we're doing it. That's why we're doing it. Yeah.
Brent:I find my son and my daughter quoting stuff that we talk about on here and holding me accountable to it, which we've talked about in the past. I'm not good at. Don't like it, doesn't feel good, but I welcome my wife and kids to hold me accountable to the things that I talk. Is it easy? Not at all.
Blair:No. Well, without that. So as we said earlier, I know that we're talking about trust, trust, trust, trust, and I really want to get this through the stuff of this, but you're holding yourself accountable. This is another form of us being on here every week because we are now putting ourselves under the microscope. And when we slide, which we will, when we slide being consistently of what we're saying, people are like, Hey, yo, what's this business?
Blair:You're talking about this and now you're doing this. How why are you talking about that? Checkmate. I got you. I'm going back into action.
Blair:I'll adjust. I'll do some different things. It takes a lot to to hear that, But, again and that's one of those episodes. So one other thing on here, buddy, and I got that this is from a teammate of mine, David Shriner. He is part of team Armstrong.
Blair:And I asked him the same question that we asked Joe. He goes, my biggest hurdle with trust is, would be letting people into my life be being betrayed by others from the past. So many times this constant wall goes up. So when someone else comes along, even if they truly have good intentions, sometimes for personal other reasons, wondering what their angle, instead of embracing them and learning what others may only be in your life for a certain season. So what we said, which ties back into saying, so David, when you hear this question, this is one of those episodes you're going to have to watch over and over again.
Blair:And how are you? What are you doing? And I want to let Brent answer this too, because Brent has some good stuff on here too. What are you doing to have others trust you? It's not you trusting others.
Blair:What are you doing to have others trust you? So it's not what other people are doing because those other people are going to let you down. So how are you building your kingdom of trust so others can emulate you and trust you. What do you say on what he said?
Brent:One more time.
Blair:He has a, we talked about this. So he is having a hard time trusting people because he's been burned in the past. Yep. And so when you hear that, and what I was just saying to with that is, what I was saying is he has to be the one building trust with others instead of letting other people build trust with him. He's got to be the catalyst of that.
Blair:If I want trust, I have to build trust. It is me going out there and going with every relationship, trusting them, as you said, what you were really good at, is trusting others. Until that happens, which I struggle at, I'm the same way as David, I don't trust a lot of people. Chris gets mad when I say I don't trust anyone. I don't trust a lot of people.
Blair:I'm getting better to be open with that and giving them an opportunity and being so closed minded in it. But do you, when you hear David say, I have a hard time getting over this hurdle of, or even though I meet somebody, what's their angle? What are they trying to get from me? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And all of a sudden you're shutting yourself down without giving them opportunity.
Blair:What would you tell David to do? Thirty years, you just turned 30, by the way.
Brent:Yeah. So my bookkeeper tells me this a lot, Sue, that I'm too easily trusting that how can I continue to do to trust people when I continually get burned? I have to keep throwing things out to the universe. And when I get something back that doesn't feel good, then I stop doing that with that person. But I believe inherently, like I said, that most people are trustworthy.
Brent:Most people want to do the right thing, and most people want the best for others, but they are human. But I would tell you, like, in anything, just keep trying. If you fail, keep trying. There is the when you give empathy, it is not just for the other person. When you give trust, it's not just for the other person.
Brent:It makes you a better human and a better individual and it makes you feel something. It gives you an oxytocin bump, if you will, or a cortisol or adrenaline hit depending upon where you're at in the adrenaline junky world or life, you know. But in in essence, when you give trust and give empathy, you're not just doing it for them. You're doing it for yourself too. No different than why do people give to charities?
Brent:Because they like the feeling. It's all about the feeling. So what you're saying is, David, is, well, I've trusted and I've been burned, so I'm not gonna trust anymore. And how does that make you feel? Does that make you feel any better?
Brent:Does that make you feel like the world's coming near the end to an end? Sky's falling, chicken little? Do you like that feeling? Does it make you feel good to feel that way? I'm guessing no.
Brent:And so if you hang it out there 10 times and you get burned twice, are you gonna punish the other eight people?
Blair:Right. That's good. So this just popped in my brain going back to professions we trust. When you go in and you're flying out to LA and you're sitting in that nice comfortable seat, first class, do you trust the guy that's flying that airplane to get you there?
Brent:You inherently have to because you can't fly yourself.
Blair:Okay. Now this is where society is going. Maybe this is what I see. I'm not not you. I'm using you as an example.
Blair:But maybe this guy has a different belief in God, a different belief in politics, a different belief in whatever. You still trust them to get you to point a, from point a to point b.
Brent:Again, you don't have a choice.
Blair:You don't have a choice. Right? Right. So I mean, I understand what choice is part of it, but the point of it is, is you're trusting in these people because that's what you're supposed to do. What I'm saying is, if you're basing your trust on what people watch, what people do, excuse me, what people believe in in God or believe in politics, whatever with and you're like, well, I can't trust them because they voted for Trump or I I can't trust them because they're a Democrat.
Blair:You know, whatever. It just the point of it is, is when are we actually going to sit down and talk with them just about stuff that really can make a difference? Going back to episode 109, how are you building your kingdom? What hurdles have you had? What are some of the things you do?
Blair:What are some of the things you're struggling building your kingdom? How can I help you get over that one brick that you're having a hard time placing on your kingdom?
Brent:Yeah.
Blair:So going back to communication, going back to the consistency, this whole topic of why I wanted to bring this on today and talk to Brent with is that, again, be guilty of it and be having harsh conversations with it. So I am not a saint in this, and I'm going to make adjustments in this, is that the keyboard warrior stuff got to stop. You have an
Brent:Likely issue isn't going to, however.
Blair:It's not likely going to go to. But, Brent, if we did and I hear you. We're not I I can't save the world. But if you're so upset the way the world is going, what are you doing to make the change?
Brent:Amen. Be the change you seek.
Blair:Yep. And you're mad because of of what doing so, what what are you doing? You just gonna stay mad, or are you gonna go out and it's like, let's try to find a solution for it? Don't know what your role I don't know what everybody else's ultimate solution is because no one communicates with that. I'm just mad.
Blair:I'm just mad. That sucks. It's a pretty cool world out there. We talked about this last week. We live in the best freaking country in the world.
Blair:I listen to what's going on out here right now. I know it's rough. I know the economy is not fun right now. I know work is hard right now. I understand relationships are ending every freaking day because of all this turmoil.
Blair:Like friendships, marriages, relationships with families, I get it. But are you concentrating on the wrong trust? Or are you like, I need to stop and readjust my thought process and come back and learn to trust again. Not only that, not only do you need to learn to trust again, you need to learn pointing finger at me, pointing the finger at Brent. We need to learn.
Blair:I should say that, that's better. We are a team here. We're going to this. We need to learn how we can become more trustful. And when that happens, when you make the adjustment with your transparency, with your empathy, which Brent, as I said to you, Brent had a great topic on that.
Blair:You can go back fifteen, twenty minutes on this episode and hear what he said. And then, so transparency, Brent has great empathy and then being consistent with it. And when I say consistent, it starts today, just like we talked about last week, you're building your kingdom starts today. Tomorrow I'm going to build my kingdom one more day and the next day I'm going to build my everything to start. When I'm that consistency doesn't stop until your time here on earth is done.
Blair:So that's what I'm excited about. I have to be, as Brent says, be the change
Brent:that you seek.
Blair:That you seek. Ed Mylett, am I the one? I'm gonna be the one. I'm gonna be the one.
Brent:I do things like like set reminders for myself like that. If I'm the one, what do I have to do to become the one and be the change you seek? And those are two things that are on my, they pop up every single morning on my email and it's important to revisit and again, be consistent with the questions that you ask yourself so that way you can answer those questions every day and get better.
Blair:Yeah. Yeah. It's just, there's a lot of stuff now. You're gonna, you know, people that are watching this, I know that you've been burned with trust, There's a good chance you can't look at yourself in the mirror and say you've let somebody else down because
Brent:Probably have to.
Blair:Yeah. Right. People trusted in you might have let them down. I know that I have. There's a lot of bridges that I burn because of my selfishness.
Blair:That sucks and that weighs heavy. So you have to, you know, I have a lot of work to do to regain that trust with the people that I broke the trust with. And I get that. And I think a lot of people when heard what I just said, feel, we've always said, decisions have consequences. And those consequences may eroded that trust to a certain point that there's no longer relationship here.
Blair:And if that is you who are watching this or someone who shared this show with you, as Brent says, I empathize with you. I don't know the true feeling that you're feeling. But I will say is have faith that you can fix it and you may not be able to fix that relationship.
Brent:But don't have just blind faith in it. It's it's you gotta do the work. As Blair said earlier, it's up to you. You must trust but verify. It starts out with baby steps.
Brent:You literally if it's a broken relationship, it's gotta be like, okay, I'm gonna give you an opportunity to help rebuild this. But the first step is on you. The first line of communication starts with you. If you value our friendship, like you're saying in this conversation, then I expect you to reach out to me. I'm not gonna reach out to you.
Brent:I expect you to reach out to me for no apparent reason, not just when you need something. I expect you to communicate and start to build a personal trusting relationship with me just like you would somebody that you've never known. And let's start from the beginning, if that's what you wanna do.
Blair:If that's what you wanna do. And what you just said, you know, and I'm gonna stick with what you just said and kinda coincide what I just said too is that process could go until you see Jesus. Someone has broken the trust, go with caution. What Brad said is, you know, do it on, on your, on your time. If someone's broken your trust that you're allowing that time is, you don't have to like fully jump back into that.
Blair:Now the same side is that, that's what I said on the same side is, you have done that to somebody else. Somewhere in your life, you've done that to somebody else. And so the process that you go to regain that trust may take a lifetime. May not. May be super But anyways, dude, it's a lot, and I'm sure that we're gonna come back to this.
Blair:But I would say you guys, we have a lot of really good episodes that you can go on here. My gut feeling, last week's episode and today's episode, these are God given episodes. That's my feeling and my stuff to it. That's my faith and you don't have to believe in theirs, but there's certain times that God comes in and wants to give a message. I just feel like it's building the kingdom and this trust is really what we need right now.
Blair:And Brett's gonna have some wise words here coming up here in a little bit. But I will just say this, you're not alone. We freaking wanna help you. And this is I don't know how else to say this after a 109 episodes joined. We want to be with you on this journey.
Blair:And we're literally having in this massive ocean. Brett and I are in this massive ocean. We have a lot of great other subscribers too, and listeners to this. But we're, you're the ones that you're watching right now on top of different episodes. So we're swimming around with, you know, a couple people with life rafts, looking for other people that we're not trying to save.
Blair:We're just here to support. So if you're struggling, I'm not charging you. Reach out to us. Let's see how we can figure this out. Final words for you, my dude.
Brent:So again, I place things in in my path every day to create positivity and consistency. Those I said it earlier, but I didn't have the exact quote down, and I'm gonna read it now because it's on my phone and it goes off as a reminder. Who do I have to become? Are you the one? The second one that goes off about thirty minutes later is question everything you're doing and how you're doing it.
Brent:Evaluate it as if you are judging it like somebody else is doing it, And that's where the magic happens for change for yourself. And as always, go make a damn difference for you, your family, your community. That's all I got, buddy.
Blair:I'm grateful for you, dude.
Brent:Likewise. Likewise.
Blair:Super grateful for you. You guys, we love you so much, man. And I say that from the bottom of my heart. We love all you guys that follow us and you share the show with us and you give us feedback on this. And if this is the time that you decide to share the show with somebody, share this one.
Blair:Share this one. Until we see each other until we almost got emotional on that one. Until we see each other next week, everyone, have a freaking great week. Go put your trust in someone today. Understand the consequences on both sides, but go put your trust in someone today.
Blair:Maybe it's us, but as Brent says, let's go make a damn difference. But until we see each other next week, stay safe. But most of all, God bless, guys. We love you guys. Have a great freaking week.
Blair:Take care.
